Superficial Happiness

Someone once said that I could do anything and be good at it which is 70% true.


I could take arts(anyting that doe not have drawings in it), live life easy, have a Phd before 30, get a hot car, get a nice house and have plenty of money to throw at ppl to get laid or maybe hook a young boy and let him be addicted to me and change that guy every year or 2 or whenever I bored.

And of cos, pretend that I am happy with everything that I do. Superficial happiness is so much easy to find than true happiness.

The reason of not doing the above is simple, living a fake life is not my cuppa. Only in this aspect of life, I am cruel to myself. I want sumting that is sustainable, sumting that is forever not sumting that is temporary. Making riches/vanity a key point of my life is dumb.

In the end of day, I want to be happy with my life, not to compete with others who may have a better car, a bigger house or cute bf. I want to be happy with what treasures I have; my frens, my books and my mate.

I do not want to be those poor souls in our world, who preaches koans, verses day and night, night and day but secretly have tongues like serpents.

I want to be me, the most unique person in the universe, who cries watching sapping movies, who head bangs with metallica and the sort, who enjoys the company of others, who is noisy and quiet at the same time.

Wanting to have this type of life is not easy, there are times that I feel like shutting everything and throw money at those boys, just to get some feel good time. But at the every last min, the rotten brat that we call Conscience (truly I hate that voice) will press the stop button.

Work is work, play is play, in the end, I would like to have someone who will be there when I get home.