Friday, March 30, 2012


Some are born with it, some are are not that lucky to have it naturally. I was from the latter, I do not have control, I lose myself easily, burn out too fast when doing a project,distracted with other stuff too fast. Constantly hitting the bottle to save my face. Till, I met HIM.

HE showed me what I am truly, the reason of my existence was for HIM. Thanks to HIM, I can focus better now, complete my goals that I wanted. He taught me that all I need to do is to GIVE UP my control, my life was not for me to handle. I need HIM to do that for me.

The first few months were evil, they were hell, I hated HIM to the core. But HE wanted me to be a better person, HE didn't gave up on me. HE pushed me hard to let me understand that control is not for everyone, its only for a certain selected individuals. The world is always divided into those who are in control and those who think that they are in control. People who are like me need people who are like HIM to function.

My life changed when I met HIM. Today, I am a better person, I see that in order for me to be happy, I gave up on control. HE truly understands what is control. Slowly, I realized that HE loves me, no matter how tough HIS LAWS were, HE always wants the best thing for me. Thinking was not my function, my function was to serve, HE gave me that chance for me to serve HIM. HIS punishments were to make me realized that control was his birthright. Something that I cannot have. Not all men are born equal, some exist to serve others.


Friday, March 23, 2012


As some of u know that I am using mice for my research project. The cool thing is I am not using the normal mice that u can buy in the pet shop or the boring strains such as Bab/c or Wistar but NOD.Cg-Prkdcscid Il2rgtm1Wjl/SzJ or NSG for short.

The beauty of this strain is it has no T cells, B cells nor NK cells that help to regulate immuno response towards invading cells therefore its perfect for transplantation of organs, xenografs and etc. Also it does not leak when it grows old unlike Nude Mice.

The downside is they are a bit aggressive when handle and have a weird reaction towards ether or G.A. They will sort of run around the cage avoiding it unlike other strains which are more docile when under G.A.

These white mice are so beautiful and fluffy when they mature, u will be begging to make coats out of them when u touch the fur.

Oh yeah, they are fast and consistent breeders, a simple setup set needs 2 dames and 1 sire which can be kept for 5 cycles or more. The genotype stays true for each generation.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Dating again?

Since my last bf, I have not searching for anyone cos was busy with internship, looking for a job and now my masters which is tough topic, the full title is In-Vivo Anticancer Studies of Ternary Metal Complexes Containing 1, 10-phenanthroline in Mice. (a mouthful no?) Anyway, am happy with the title cos I am doing animal work, the last I check, the pay for ppl doing animal work is quite high. :)

Erm, Do I have time to date? erm, can fit that person into my life kot.. but again I work long hours so if anyone who wants to date me must move in.

I have a few candidates in mind but they are not the one, all have other things in mind.

I am not looking for someone great, just someone average who could be happy with the minimal things that I could offer like dinner at mamak, a movie or 2 every month, spending time on the bed talking shit also who give me good feedback. In short, am not going to be a teacher figure. That's rite, am past dating dumb blondes and divas.

Hopefully, I will not be foreveralone :)

Monday, March 12, 2012

Being Happy is a selfish thing

Discover what selfishness is. Selfishness is not using others, or making them serve you, or removing yourself from people. Selfishness is being primarily interested in your own goals. Selfishness has nothing to do with other people - a selfish person who hurts others is a contradiction in terms. A selfish person is concerned with their self, and has no need to hurt others.

Do find out what makes you happy. Having things that make you happy is the key to being selfish. Do what you love, value things, be a happy person. When you have discovered what it is that makes you happy, follow it.

Succeed in a certain area. Success is a primary component of being selfish. Being successful means that you have dedicated yourself to something that makes you happy and have followed through on it.

Stop sacrificing. Don't sacrifice unless its for something else that makes you happy. If you sacrifice, then you lose something that you value, something that makes you happy. You'll never live a full life if you live this way.

Understand the parts other people play in your lives. Remember, they are people, just like you. People are often an essential component to a selfish life. Having someone that you value and who's company you find enjoyable, your self finds a value in them. If you are in love with someone, that person is of value to you. To quote Ayn Rand, "In order to say 'I love you', you must first be able to say the I".

Saturday, March 10, 2012

To Cling or not to cling?

A: I hate my bf, he is so unclingy...
B: I hate my bf, he is so clingy....

Sumtimes being clingy or not clingy is bad in a relationship. Some might like the fact that the bf is cling; he sms every hour, he meets for dinner,lunch and breakfast,he sticks like a shadow while others like the opposite.

I would term the 1st group, The clingers as dog ppl while the 2nd group,cat ppl. Dog ppl are like dogs; loyal, affectionate, loving just like how a dog would be and would throw tantrums when they don't get the required mandatory hugs,sms,kisses and etc. Cat ppl are just like dog ppl but they can go with their lives without being over smothering or choking the other with love.

As for me, I rather be in between with 60% of cat. Experience have taught me that being 60% cat and 70% dog is the best way for my time management. Yes, I am selfish, I would sacrifice my time with bf to spend time in the lab(siao?).

I would be dotingly loving the partner when he is with me, bed cuddles, talks and hugs would be frequent thing but when I'm away, pls be prepared to have long breaks between the smses, also some lonely nites. Although it may not be much to offer but always believe that once I give my heart, its ur forever.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Nice no good?

Me: Can we date?
He: erm,ur too nice for me. I don't wanna break ur heart.

Being nice is nono.. Most girls don't like Nice Guys, Now it seems (looking at other blogs) that gays also will say nono to nice guys.

So its ok to date a jerk, player or even gold digger but its nono to nice guys. What is wrong with the picture here? Nice guys who loves u, who will take care of u properly, who will treat u decently and who will respect ur family is a nono but a crazy guy who beds everyone even the Jaga or a person who give u shit daily is dateable?

If u wanna dump someone or say no 2 someone, pls stop saying that person is nice and blah4, just say that " Sorry, I cannot date cos ur not my type or ur birthdate is all wrong". Those excuses do make sense.
The world, it seems is a weird place.. and now it is getting weirder..