Being alone

Going to cut and paste from a blogger 2nite cos he's is really giving good advice...

Many of us go online or come on Facebook because sometimes we feel empty and alone. Other times even when we are surrounded by people, we still feel like we are not part of the group.

Do you ever feel that way sometimes?? I know I do...

All of us I think at some points in our lives feel alone, but for some people these feelings of loneliness seemed to be so ingrained that they become part of their identity. We CAN change that.

Many times if we pay close attention, there feelings are there for a reason, perhaps:-

• we have just broken up with some one --break up of a romantic relationship
• we have just been diagnosed with some health problems, that makes us unable to go out with our friends or participate in activities like we used to.
• loving some one, wanting an intimate meaningful relationship and failing to find THE ONE, someone we can share our ups and downs with.
• sometimes we reach out and share with people and we get disillusion, the person never understood what we are going through and we end up getting criticized or looked down upon as weak.

The KEY to understand why we are lonely is to look into the possible causes of it and then change things for ourselves. Loneliness occurs when we cannot share our thoughts and feelings with someone we can trust and we know that they care for us. Even if they are busy, we know they will be there to listen to us, often we need some one to understand what we feel and why, we need empathy not pity, or sympathy. We need to feel someone "gets us".

But don't despair if you experience this, there are ways to deal with your feelings:-

• Firstly you have to identify why you feel alone. Is is because of relationship problems? Is it because you are single and have no one to turn to? Or perhaps you spouse does not understand you? Or perhaps you have migrated to a foreign country and there is no support system there, your friends and family are all too far way. It all depends on which stage in life you are in, feelings of aloneness can come from many different sources.
• Secondly, you have to decide that you want to do something about it and take action. Perhaps you can start by identifying what activity you like to do. If you have always wanted to learn flower arranging or cake baking then attend a class. When you go regularly and talk to people in your class, you will build connections. Or maybe you can choose a charity and volunteer, work together with people and form your bonds with those who share the same interest with you.
• Thirdly, find what makes you happy, if you want to learn dancing, then go ahead, or you like to write, then join a writing class, do things that make YOU happy.
• Fourthly, when ever we feel alone, it is usually when we have too much time on our hands and we start thinking, perhaps we can start by getting out and perhaps look outside of ourselves. If we look around we might see a friend in need and where other people could use our help. If a friend has some problems, plan to do something nice for him or her. Volunteer at a hospital perhaps, if you love to sing, maybe go to a senior center and play music for them. When you do this, many times you will start joining in with the rest of the world and you will find that you are building connections that you need. So by helping others you are actually helping yourself.

ps: if the owner of the article doesn't like me cutting and pasting his work,pls inform me and due actions will be taken.