A tough question asked

While running around Shah Alam to settle the bills and what not, I bumped into a old fren. He found out that I'm gay from other frens who are in my facebook and was asking the typical questions that someone will ask when u come out to them,so it started with how and ended with why. Then he asked me this question....

Fren: Ichi,I'm sorry to ask u this but are u proud of who u are now? I mean with ur status on in the open.

I was so speechless.....

I: erm,how to say this.. Of cos,at 1st, I was frustrated and sad about my status.. I mean at the moment that I realized of who I am,there is only 2 choices for me which either to be truthful to myself or keep pretending. I didn't tell everyone about my status at 1st cos I was scared of what they might think but after a few years,I decided to be open about it,after all, I'm still the same person as I was before I told them my dirty little secret. As u know,Y wasn't happy with the revelation but the rest accepted me as who I am. In a sense,I'm lucky to have such understanding frens. Rite now,yes,I'm proud that I'm gay and I came out to all of u but there are moments when I feel a bit unhappy.

Fren: what moments?

I: U know lah,u guys will avoid topics like girls, gay and mak nyah jokes or when u start to stereotype gays... I'm ok with u guys making jokes or discussing the anatomy of girls...I'm still the guy who plays video games and listens to Slipknot.....

End of conversation

I wonder are there ppl who aren't proud of who they are or who they have become?

Office 2010 + Voting + Networking

Office 2010

My dearest lappie came with a 60 days trial version of 2007 which expired when I was preparing a presentation for one of my class. Luckily,my uncle installed Office 2003 in my lappie so I used that instead but since Office 2007 came with new stuff,I can't do much of editing using Office 2003.

When I was going to Office 2007,I spotted Office 2010. At first,I thought that since 2010 is a beta version,I shuld buy 2007 rite? But after trying 2o1o on my fren's lappie, I decided to buy it...

The inferface is quite good, its not as crowded as 2007 and way cooler looking than 2007,so far,I'm liking it....

Voting

As some of u might noticed,a lot of ppl are speculating/ gearing up for the next election that is going to be held soon (some say within a year), my question is have u registered urself as a voter?

If u haven't, u better go and do it soon if u wanna vote in the coming election.. Remember that the most important right that we have as a citizen is to choose who we want to be in the Government. So and register urself.....

Networking

At 1st,I hated networking but now since I see the results of networking, I'm loving it. It is easy to get information or to settle things when u know the insiders especially when u want things to be done fast. Yes, I know that its tedious but in the end,it is a worthy investment...

4 months de...........

Its funny how time flies when ur having fun... 4 months has passed, although we had our ups and downs, both tried and still are trying to complete the journey. U had always stressed that the journey not the destination that is important which I always disagreed with.

These past 4 months,it has been wonderful and full of sweet memories..remember that day when both were broke and could only afford a Mcd lunch meal, u were persistent in letting me to eat the whole burger cos I complained that I have not had anything since morning and I was demanding that u take half of it.. and finally I gave up and ate the burger and gave u the fries. Little that I know that u also had an empty stomach until u ate ur gastric pills.

To me,the best memories were during our 1st date,u kept asking me whether I really wanted to treat u a meal.. remember the kiss u gave me when u sent me home,it was the worst kiss ever,u kept looking at the side-mirror,hoping that no one would walk past.

I don't know whether u noticed it or not but each time I smiled, there is spark in ur eyes,its like u had won a lottery or sumting,then u'll have this goofy smile on ur face,u know those smiles that boys have when they get the toys that they want.

Loving u always
Rizal

The Lion

Its the time for the Lion to rule the sky once again. Leos,by nature are rulers; they are the most ambitious, creative,courageous,strong willed and independent. They would sit comfortably in the seats of power.

They have a lot of followers due to their strong charisma and magnetic charm. To them,a problem is just a challenge to be overcome. They are traditionalists who would stick to the old and proven paths.

Their faults mainly lies in their nature,some would think that they are over-bearing,arrogant and self-centered which is due to their way of working. They would hatch great plans to reach their goals.

In having relationship with others,Leos are often trustworthy,sincere and genuine,unfortunately,they are not good judges of others which will often lead to heartbreaks and they inclined to practice cronyism. They have a large appetite for sex and would be loyal to their partners as long as they could see the benefits of the relationship like a king would demands service but couldn't return the favour.

Mono or poly

A few months ago,a fren in facebook said that he will tell all of his secrets to his future lover which is good but how about during the relationship period,should u tell everything to the lover or shuld u keep some things private.

A episode of the latest season of House deals with open marriage aka open relationship. It means that u can have an affair with someone while ur in love and the best part is the lover knows about it. It is the opposite of having a mistress.

But seriously,how many of us would like to know whether the lover is faithful or anot,whether he had sexs with sumone while we are busy with other things or an innocent fling with someone while he is on a working trip overseas?

We are so obsess with being mono till we frown at swingers.A couple who practices polygamy once said to me," there is no monogamous gay couple that had not fantasized about a person who is not their lover and tried to imagine that person is who he is fucking while fucking his lover. We are just being honest to each other."

The statement given is true in a sense. I mean I am sure that some might have imagined that their lover is someone else while fucking them. I,myself had done that once or twice.

Do monogamy exist in the gay world or we are just being hypocrites?

Ps: Fyi: I am not thinking of being polygamous nor having an affair.

U60 goes where?

Seriously, I have a confession to make,I have never took bus to go anywhere in Malaysia. I usually take cab,LRT and its mutations and car to go places.Being pampered? Not at all. I just can't be bothered to wait for the bus and to waste time in the bus to go sumwhere that I can reach by other means within a shorter duration. This proclamation excludes journeys to other states and within Singapore.

So when a fren asked me whether U60 goes to kl,I had to tell her that I don't know. And guess what,her next question was," don't joke with me lah,come on answer my question." I explained the whole thing of why I don't take bus and she and her frens simply concluded that I'm a rich man's son which is not true.(so don't bother to kidnap me,k).

4th month:約定

While having lunch 2day....

Rizal: Missed u so much,nah ur anniversary present

I: Sori,been 2 bz these few weeks... Not enuff to pamper u

R: Its ok lah, u got proposal to do and work rite...I understand

I: Thanks for understanding... but I have finished my proposal de so shuld be free to "eat" at ur place.

R: I won't cook lah then... anyway,I got exams next week,won't be free...

I: Alah...

R: Ur turn to suffer......

I: Next week,ur exam,then its my exam... Looks like I won't be eating for a long time..

R: But I want my anniversary present b4 my exams

I: Lol... then I'll "cook" 2nite...

R: I want the full course,tau.......

Inception

Have u ever wish that u can change a memory or read ppl's subconscious or try to plan an idea on someone's mind? How easy life would be if u can do the above.. How many misunderstandings that u can rectify? How many unwanted questions that u can avoid? Most important,how many broken hearts u can avoid?

While watching the movie,Inception,I was thinking about the above... So many sweet memories turned bitter just becos of one's inability to say the right words at the right time,to fail to see the proper intention of misguided sentences. How easy would life be if we could see the bare thoughts of one's mind.....

But if we can do all of the above,the words," I'm sorry" would lose its sweetness..........

stupid mentality

I really hate some of the students in my uni. Some don't know how to communicate well, for an instance,a girl in my lab group comes to me and points at 2 sets of data that was collected,then look at me and gave a bewildered look. I was like what does this girl wants or is my data looks wrong to her. Then when I asked her to explain herself,she goes into defensive mode. crazy kan?

2nd story,I'm not showing off when I said that I'm done with my research proposal,its just that my topic is clear cut unlike some who are so hebat till they themselves don't know what their objectives are. I'm just trying to create more time 4 myself.

3rd story,I know that the toilets in the uni are maintained and cleaned by the cleaners but that doesn't mean that u can shit/pee everywhere. Come on lah,u are a degree student not a child in K1. Imagine what those cleaners say behind closed doors.. U can't even flush the toilet after using it... malu lah wei... budak degree fiil mcm nie.... the worst part is this happens in toilets that are often used by Life sciences students....

4th story, went to fetch Rizal from his uni since I have finished all class for the day,had lunch at the famous pizzahut @ Pavilion. Guess what? the service still sucks and the lady manager is still there..... paid and left the food uneaten and ate somewhere near Frangipani instead.

Making 24 hrs lasting 48 hrs

I am still very busy with work (80%) and play (20%). My schedule is uber packed with activities ranging from sending the siblings to school/class to chopping cabbage for the burger stall. I really do wish that there is 48 hrs in one day so that I could finish all my chores and have time to relax and rewind. The biggest victim of my busyness is Rizal.

The time that we have 2gether is so limited,sumtimes while dating,I squeezed in some time to do some work. He says that he's ok with the situation but I know that he's not ok. The good thing is I'm 90% done with my phase 1 of my FYP (research proposal ). I'm waiting for the lecturers' feedback on my work. I know that the hardest part of doing any FYP isn't doing it but trying to accommodate each lecturers' whims. My supervisor is so far ok with my work but I'm afraid that my co-supervisor isn't going to be that happy with my work,heck even I am not pleased with my work especially the literature review part.

Anyway, to show my appreciation for his understanding, I brought him out for dinner @a thai restaurant near my place and went to his place for the nite yesterday.

All the tiredness really paid off when I saw him smiling......

I love u, Honey.......

2 in 1

1) Uniform

Rizal came over to my house since the family is away 2day. He was looking at my closet when he spotted my SCDF ( Singapore Civil Defense Force) uniform in closet. He wanted me to wear it and so I wore it for him,btw I have the complete set,the cap,the blue pants,the blue shirt,the click-on belt and the boots.

Damm paiseh the feeling was at that moment but since he loved it,I'm happy.

2)The journey ends

I hate the world cup,My fav. teams are not in the final,2nite is my last game to watch for this world cup season. If Germany loses,I'm going to buy an octopus and stew it. Hey,Paul the octo, can u be grateful to those who feed u anot?

On the plus side,Rizal is happy that he is no longer a world cup widow...

Ps: I got band 6 for Muet..Yeay me

What's my name

I only use my name that is stated on my birth cert for official matters,even lecturers know me by my nickname (not Ichi lah). The reason is simply that name is too long and sumtimes ppl mispronounce it. If u wondering what my real name is,go and ask those who are in my msn list,they would know. Further more,its one of kind,I had checked the National Registrar(JPN),only 3 ppl has the same name as me.

To date,the only 2 ppl who called me by my real name are Rizal and my best buddy,yeah,my family call me by my nickname too.He found out about my real name while looking at my student id card. At 1st,it irks me to the max cos I need to explain why I don't use my real name and how my nicknames come to existence to those who have been using my nicknames.

Somehow,now,I feel that its cool that Rizal calls me by that name,he made a unappreciated name,a name that exist only on documents special just by saying it aloud......

ps: pls bear with the lack of updates,am busy with life

BF+ boring game= Sexs

During the Brazil vs Portugal match

R: Syg,do u want ice-cream?

I: sure

R: here,strawberry flavour...

I: Don't disturb lah,I want to watch......

Rizal massaging my crotch

I: Seriously?

R: Yes... just ringan2 je

I: erm,wait till the game finish

Rizal keeps massaging......

I: Fine but I want the heavies......

In retrospect,thank heavens that its a boring game.

Disappointing World cup

That's it......not going to watch the world cup anymore.....My dream of watching Argentina vs Brazil is crushed...... sedihx3,I'm going to miss Maradona's cute antics...Angry with the stupid players.. Brazil is gone........ I hate this world cup........ all the nites spent not sleeping wasted......


But again,Germany for the final match looks interesting.......

A dirty word in genetics

I didn't realised that even in the medical world,there are some dirty words,words that u don't say aloud cos others might have negative views on u. Do u want to know one dirty word that is banned in a country?

That word is EUGENICS,the study and practice of selective breeding in humans.Oh yes,its a concept that was made popular by Hitler but since Hitler was a dumb guy who loss the war by trying to conquer the world by opening 2 fronts,he stole the idea from the Brits who advocated the practice of breeding with the aborigines to improve the races' intellect and to rescue it from extinction.U see,eugenics isn't something new,Japan practiced it during the Showa period in order to improve their race's purity.Even in USA,they tried to make mental patients and criminals infertile so that the nasty genes couldn't be passed down.

These days,Eugenics is divided into 2 categories which are positive eugenics and negative eugenics.In positive eugenics,we try to limit the passing the genes of inheritable diseases such as CF or hemophilia so that humans have a better and more productive lives which in negative eugenics,the practitioners promote the purity of their races.

Why is it a dirty word if its to make us a better species? Mostly,the negative perception is due to Hitler's dreams of a perfect race and the notion of making u aware of the diseases that u might carry and adding an extra condition in finding Mr Right scares a lot of ppl. Most are afraid that their genes might make them a outsider in the society,make their insurances premium higher or even would deny them of their dream jobs. (go and watch Gattaca for better understanding of the concept).

Actually,most Governments do have policies on Eugenics,look at ur birth cert or ur blood donor card,the sign (+/-) after ur blood group does have a meaning,its shows what type of rhesus u have,+ can happily have children with another + or - and - also can but + and - can't interbreed with each other.(Those who don't know what type or blood/rhesus they have,pls do a blood test,its for ur own good)

Like all Sciences,it can be used in both ways,its up to the ppl to fully understand the concept and decide its use.As for me,I'm fine with positive eugenics,after all,we have been playing God for a long time now.