WORK

 How many times I have promised myself that I will not make work my main objective of life... Each time that I see the posts of my frens' in fb about work, I swear that I will not be them.. I will not be those ppl who have be stuck with work even on the weekends, refusing to meet ppl for a cup of coffee cos of experiments, cancelling family cos of the supervisor needs the data for the experiments done.

Yes, the end results are sweet, u get a cert, u get a title but does the rewards outweigh the price? The long hours that u spent just to get an objective done or to explain of why your results are like that.


Rite now, there are plenty of things that are going in my brain, shuld I just quit or wait a while longer...

Good bye, my fren

  The 1st time that I saw you, u were on the bed in one of the hostel dorms in a sec sch not far from UIAM, Kuantan. We were there for a national symposium for biomed students that lasted for the weekend. Diligently, u were studying for exams which were to be held during the following week.

My 1st thought of you was, " man, this guy is a typical ipta student.Studying all the time, must a smart guy." Mind you, I was a part of a small team of starry-eyed students from a totally different background from the majority. Heck, we drove ourselves there instead of having a university bus to send us there like u and the rest.

Then, u smiled and we introduced ourselves to each other. After that, it was my turn to iron some clothes and straighten my looks for the big day. No matter what happens, I want to look nice for the symposium.

The activities of the day loomed, bored by others, I joined your group and tried to do some networking.

After the 1st day, both of us were looking for quiet places to study. Both were shy as we were looking for common ground..

After the weekend, we promised to add each other in FB which we did, try as we may, we kept in contact with our irregular and infrequent msgs. I found that we had similarities and we had differences; u like to explore, travel alone and meet new frens, u play music. The thing that I liked the most was ur patience and ur tolerance of ppl.

In FB, we even pulled a prank with ur fellow frens, making them believe that I am one of ur lecturers cos my nick and his name was the same.

Dear fren,
 After a while, I sense a change in u, although none would tell, I told myself that u will tell me if its vital. And u did, when we were chatting in Mcd for hours.

You were always listening to my worries and sumtimes, I wonder if its fair. Although, I was frantic for ur health, trying to give the best advices on other stuff. You always have that smile, that pure smile, free of worries and etc.

As I bought a smartphone a few mths back, our chats increased and whenever I could, I tried to make time to see u and spend time with u. We even made plans to travel 2gether when everything is settled. And also you wanted me to help with ur FYP.

When you were admitted, I smuggled you out for a date and to the korean restaurant in Amcorp Mall, I brought u. Thinking back, ordering a spicy ramen stew was NOT a good idea. :P
You were sweating after the 2nd bite. But u finished the whole thing. Hahahaa...

Work made me to lessen my msgs with u.. even though, with work, I keep a thought for u, thinking that there is and will be a 2morrow 2 continue our little chat. My true regret is not being to talk to you as often as I would like, just empty chats without any reasons to have 1 and make them as long as possible without any disruptions.

Truly, I am blessed with your presence in my life, I just wished that it was a little bit longer, just a little bit. Each minute, I spent with u was and will always be priceless. There are no words that I use to describe those moments that we spent in the hospital lounge, talking and laughing, complaining......

Dear fren, thanks for everything. Do make a place for me and keep playing ur ukulele in that eternal paradise.

With lotsa love always,
Ichimaru Akira

Gym and others stuff

 Been 2 gym for 1 week de. So far, so good.. I feel nice after work-out but its hard for me to sleep due to the hormones and etc. Got myself a gym partner. Although, we have different aims, its nice to have someone to go to the gym with... maybe, I will try to get to know more gymers in the future..

Primary goal: lose 10 kg
Sec goal: get some man-boobs, the solid kind.

___________________________________________________________________________

Its funny that I have 10 unpublished posts.. things that I try to write but somehow it does not feel rite yet, the adjectives, nouns and adverbs used are wrong, the posts do not reflect my thoughts.

Tried dating others since the break up but somehow, no matter how I do it, the results are still the same. Maybe I am too screwed up.. hahahaha.. ppl say that I am nice but why do I feel that I am evil inside.

Recently, I was going after a guy, not to say that he is cute or what.. but I feel super attracted to him.. maybe he reminds me of me.. weird, social misfit.. lolz. In the end, the best path to take is to just be frens with him, I do not want to lose frens cos of matters of the heart.

Maybe I shuld stop dating, just focus my happiness. Easier said than done huh?

Many would be happy to have some, some would be just as happy to follow the guys' method or be happy to have sex.. I do not feel that way; I do not feel the need to use methods, money and games to keep a guy with me.. maybe I am still naive of how this world works... Life would be some much simpler if I was born in 1700s-1800s..lolz..

The definition of being a guy or girl eludes me.. Why do society give leeways for girls to do some things while  restricts guys from doing others..

Anyhow, I feel that absolute happiness or rather absolute contentedness is not for me.. The hole that He left will never be filled. 

5

  Recently, I met a few wonderful and interesting guys. They are 1, 2,3, 4, and 5. Each have taught me a few things about Love.

Saying I like you or I love you is easy. You can say that to anyone. Falling in love is also easy, you need time and a bit of money and lotsa appeal. But staying in love? Could you stay in love with the same person, accepting their flaws, their stupidity, their weird likes and dislikes and be there when they are at their lowest?

No 1 taught me that Love has no limits.. so what if the lover is sick and have a fragile health, I am here now with him. He may have a limited time but so what.. He loves me and I him. Should I ignore all the good memories cos he is dying?

No 2 taught me that Love is not a glue.. Understanding each other, accepting that he is not perfect makes the relationship work. He might farts in bed while he sleeps but again, my cooking sucks, should we just call it quits?

No 3 taught me that Love needs sincerity, He may be rich, he may be ok with me sleeping with others, he may be ok with me spending his money on other guys but he still is there when I need him the most, not those boys who I randomly pick for a good time.

No 4 taught me to love a person purely for who he is, he maybe loud, he may do then think.. but that is the guy who I pick to spend time with.

No 5 taught me how Love does not need time. We may be far, we may be busy but in that moment when we are together, we are sync

Progress

I am currently doing my masters on cancer research, focusing on drug discovery. And I swear that I will kill the next guy who said that my work is super hard and high level thingy. Trust me, I have killed before.

Anyway, the work is not that hard when ur enjoying urself with it. I hate those ppl who post TGIF on Fridays; pleaselah, if u hate ur job then change it, do not go and bitch about it.

Ok2, back to story, the project is a multi-part project. Yes, I can do my Phd and Postdoc with the project if  I want 2 and the powers that be still want me 2.

Right now, I am focusing on whether the drug works aka Part 1. In part 1, there is 3 parts. I just completed part 1.1.1, part 1.1.2 and part 1.1.3 is awaiting optimization; a word that I hate.

Hopefully, I can start part 2 and part 3 next year, if everything is there and everything is perfect then I might finish it by 2014.

So wish me luck guys. Hopefully I won't go crazy any time soon.

Wide awake

Criteria

 Below are some conditions to consider in getting a bf

1) Looks

Do u need a good looking Bf? Average looking or twinky like? Buffed? A shorty or a tall guy?

2) Age

Old? Young? Someone in his mid-40s ? or young ones who just finished high school?

3) Income

Has an active income or passive income or still relies on his parents for allowances?

4) Maintenance

want some1 with high maintenance or someone with a low maintenance ?

5) Distance

Long Distance? Short Distance? Next door neighbor?

6) Intellect

Smart or sohai? medium or high IQ?

7) Performance

Good in bed? Kinky? or plain boring?

And the list goes on and on and on... Bottomline is u can be picky and get no one or realistic and get someone but again there is NO one who can deliver everyting that u need and want.

For me, as long as HE could fulfill my NEEDS, i am HAPPY

Reflections

 It seems that most of the recent posts are multiple entries, am sorry about that. I have limited time nowadays to sit down and pen my thoughts.

1) Update on Masters

The devil is in the design. Every bit and every experimental protocol is inspired by the papers that I read. Most of them are like parts and pieces of multiple journals. The good news is so far (fingers crossed) I have done it correctly with 10% improvement.

Some how,its going to be a mega project but see how it goes. The devil is in the design.  Maybe will push for conversion to PHD in the next year or so. God willing.

To those who wants to do POSTGRAD, do it BUT DO NOT COMPLAIN about ur Sup or the hardwork needed or the long hours, HANG IN THERE, read more, enjoy life more. Ur brain needs rest but most importantly, choose the right frens or lab partners and settle one prob at 1 time. Remember u choose to do ur PostGrad, NO ONE forced u to do it.

2) Singlehood

The most important question ever; do u still date? erm, erm... hard to answer that. I do date sumtimes with different ppl at different times. I think for the past year, I have gone out and tested waters with at least 12 ppl
(?). Some were just flings, some more that than but somehow it just fizzled.
Too many factors against it like :
a) he is interested in someone else
b) distance
c) I am too ugly
d) he belongs to someone else

Although sumtimes, I do put my hopes too high.. I have no regrets in doing so. At least, I know what I like; a matured gentleman who is a whore in the bedroom. (too much to ask?)


3) New frens

Let's see now, I have met with a lot of bloggers and Fb frens (yeay me). Some are nice, some are weird, some are adorably cute. I do hope that I behaved good in front of them, enuff to leave an impression.

4)  Peace

I do not know if u know especially those in my FB, I have sorta made peace with one of my Ex (?). key: He was prominently displayed in my blog. Frankly, I am at fault too and I am sorry for that.

Multiple

Once again, this will be a multiple entry post... too little time to write everyting separately I think....

1) Being popular

Again and again I stress, if u wanna bitch about me, be truthfully about it... DO Not just tell ppl about what I have done but also tell others what lead to the event...I guess kids will be kids and too much chatime bubble tea will damage ur brains... Anyway, thanks for giving me a post..am quite honored :P

2) Work?Masters

My project has exploded (in a good sense). My work is being expanded to clinical trials which will happen in 3 yrs time.. Personally, I think I deserved it.. The hours that I put it is abnormal; my lab is my home.

Recently, I attended a conference at Concorde,KL. The conference is about using lab animals for translation  meds; using animal models to mimic human response toward meds or diseases. It was a nice conference, not too big and not too small.. Everyone knows each other very well.Heck,some ppl know me before I introduced myself.. Being in a small community has its perks;u know what each other are doing. The best thing is I got 3 potential job offers while talking with the sifus.

Maybe will go Bangkok for AFLAS 2012..see how is my budget... so many offers...

HIM

 Been pursuing someone lately.. Not a new person per say, he is someone that I have been going out with every now and then  since I was staying in Ampang last year. So far, nothing had happened... There is one question that he keeps on asking that I cannot answer well... Why do I like him so much?

Erm.. honestly.. I do not know of why... maybe becos of him being caring to animals or of his cute smile? of the weird sounds he makes? or when he pouts when things do not go his way? or of the useless quarrels we had especially on things that he can buy cheaper. Or his way of doing things with full of vigor and expression.  

But I do know that I do not like his moody times.. his sad face..

Just One Day

  Sumtimes, I wondered if I could spend a day with u, just 1 day, just 24 hours to show u how much I care for you.. To be able to spend 1 day completely with u, with no disturbances or distractions from others. Just us for 1 day..

I am not those type who will pursue a matter till death or would show how much I like you with presents or organize an event..

I wonder if I have 1 day with u, maybe u will change ur mind about me or the very least know who I am when we are not in front of a bunch of ppl who despises our kind. I am afraid of what They might think or who I might encounter. As strong as I am, I am still weak when dealing with Them.

Just 1 day, I ask, nothing less, nothing more. Just 24 hours.

I might not show a whole new world to you... maybe just the Me who fears losing you.

I wonder if making you to be close to me could achieve anything.. I love teasing u especially when u make those silly noises.

Having 1 day with u, it may change nothing...it may change something...

Maybe its true that I am the last guy u may think about.. cos u have hidden that smile of urs from me..

Should that chance come, that u grant my wish, of being with u for one day.. I wonder if I'm lucky enuff to think that it may come true..

Many ppl had asked their lovers of why they were picked... To answer that, I need to know how can I make u mine.........

I wish that u will give me 24 hrs..just a day.. nothing more, nothing less...

Lose

  These days, my life have been evolving around my lab and home plus a few moments when I chat with a few frens on FB and Hp. When I am at the lab, I work... When I am at home, I work... There seems to be no breaks in between both places, WORK is my main task.

 In the Lab, I work to get my Masters and to ensure that my mice is living a happy life before I use them for experiments. At Home, I need to settle my Dad's shop plus a few sessions of reading papers that I had gathered during the day.

Having Work as a main point is tiring especially when things happened unexpectedly. My lab's AHU broke down due to an electrical surge therefore spent a major part of the day to move them to rooms that have air-con. Yeah, my mice are fussy, they need a room with a temperature of 22 degrees Celsius or else they will start to eat their pups or die which is a no no for me. Then, came home and I need to settle stuff that my bro neglected to do. Argued with the parents... somehow,its easy for them to say that we only disturb u on the weekends je.

I need to rest, to unwind my brains, to stop thinking.. literally be in a comatose state to reset and reboot for the week ahead.

To enter that comatose state, I do not need to be on a bed/ watching Tv (it does help though). I just need a place to throw my worries away or a person who will just blab without me having to solve their probs or hear the same punchline over and over again.

U know the feeling that u get when u hold that bantal busuk or ur blanket.. I need to recreate that in some way or method. Just lose myself in oblivion without caring if my words will hurt others or how ppl may affect me. That safe feeling is lost when u get older, carrying more responsibilities.

Goal for the next 6 mths: find somewhere/something/someone that could give me the security to lose myself

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.

Cancer is caused by mutations;our Dna replicates but sumtimes the replication goes wrong and we have a faulty cell which causes abnormality.. some cells will die/be remove by the body. Cancer cells happened cos of improper removal.

2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.

Not necessarily, some are regulars. 

3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.

Failure of activation of pathway causes the immune system to not detect the cancer cells. 

4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

Partly true.. Some cancers are caused by EBV and some who have erratic lifestyle do not get it.

5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.

The most important factor is getting enuff exercise, supplements might help but again too much of anti-oxidants are also bad for the body.

6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

To date, only Cisplatin and her sisters have high toxicity levels, other drugs like metformin or DCA have low toxicity. Kemp oil and other herbal alternatives are available but is not being sold by the industry players.


7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.

True.

8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.

Normally, Doctors will do surgery, then chemo and radiation will follow. It also depends on the body and the will power of the person to fight the disease.

9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.

True. that's why chemo and radiation is done periodically.

10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.

No, it does not causes the above. only 10-20% cases occurs naturally. 

11. An effective way to battle cancer is to STARVE the cancer cells by not feeding it with foods it needs to multiple.

What cancer cells feed on:

a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Note: Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.


b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells will starved.

c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.

d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes t o nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells.

To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).

e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water--best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.

Only point D is true.. the rest is bullshit. Coffee, tea and chocolates are anti-oxidants, a moderate amount is good, wine also helps. Scientists like myself are hypothesizing that cancer cells/tumor have 2 different methods of growing; 1) they need glucose especially those cells who are at the outer surface while the inner part/core does not need. This is why DCA and Metformin works on cancer cells.

12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines will become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.

False. Even though there is toxic buildup, a diet of vegetables and fiber will cure it,

13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.

Our body does not work that way, certain enzymes work on certain substrates. The protein cover is more like a membrane. 

14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.

True.  The methods of causing apoptosis varies.

15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.

True like all other diseases 2.

Anger, unforgiving and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.

True, but it does not cause cancer.

16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.


False. see point 11.

A proper break up

Q: hey, I think we cannot go on....

 I: why? Q: ur 2 nice 2 me... I think I do not deserve this..

 I: oh.. so being nice is bad

 Q: nolah..its me.. I think....

 I: oklah.. since u really want this..I cannot force u

Q: thanks

 I: but before I go, I really want to say this ur a screw up, u spend hours in uni, learning about a field but u did not use the knowledge u have learnt in ur daily life.. u know what are ur weaknesses but u do not want to improve them. Yet, u complained that ur stupid..if ur stupid, then work on what u are lacking. Do not just say that ur stupid and let it be. U often say that ppl played u out but u let them play u out by saying nothing to them,do not expect ppl to know what ur thinking about..if u like someone 100%, then and say that I like u 2, do not just wait till they grow tired of waiting for u. The other thing, u say that u have no more money but I see that u spend like a king.. yeah, ur parents can afford it but what about when they stopped being ur cash cow.....

 Q: erm...

 I: do not interrupt, u have to learn to live ur own life, ur frens are dragging u down, they are also stupid and wasting their time.. u want to keep being the victim in every issue, but do u know that ur hurting ppl/making them not wanting to be with u... u think that life is all about fun and games.. The main and biggest prob about u is u just think and not acting. Do u really think that ppl would keep giving stuff to woo if u do not the very least give them back sumting.. u need not buy stuff or plan sumting big.. u shuld just make more time for them, send them a sms or give them a call.. Think about it....

Q: u bitch... who do u think ur?

I: this is who I am...Good nite

A fool,perhaps?

Once upon a time, there was this foolish traveller, who'd gone on a journey, why was he foolish, well because he was fooled by everyone he met. “Please some money for medicine” said an old lady, and he gave money to her. Everywhere he went people made up all kinds of sad stories to tell him, and the traveller fell for every one of them, “I have a sick younger sister” a little girl said to him, “I don’t have money to buy seeds to plant in my fields” a man said to him, and he gave to them each something of his. Pretty soon his money, his clothes, even his shoes had been cheated away from him, but the foolish traveller was always glad to help, and he always told people the same thing, he said, “I wish you happiness”. But by this point though, the traveller was completely naked, and with nothing left to cover himself, he decided to leave the main road and travel through the dense forest, where no one could see him. But soon he was discovered by the goblins that lived in the woods. The goblins wanted to eat the traveller’s body, so they begged, and they pleaded, and they used kind words to try and trick him, of course, the traveller was fooled, first he let the goblins eat one of his legs, then an arm, then more and more, before it was over, all the traveller had left was his head. He’d even given his eyes away to the last of the goblins, and as that last goblin was eating the traveller’s eyes, he turned and said “Thank you traveller, in return I leave you this present”, what the goblin left was a slip of paper with the word "fool" written on it. The traveller couldn’t see it, he didn’t know what it was, even so, tears began to float of his face. “Thank you” he said, “This is the first present anyone’s ever given me, I’m so happy, I’m so happy thankyou”. Even without his eyes, he cried and he cried great tears of joy. Then the traveller died… the smile is still on his face.


…I feel so sorry for him, see… lost, hardship, things like that, you can’t really focus on them. The traveller didn’t, he never thought about his own troubles at all, I imagine that it probably does sound foolish to some people, but not to me. I don’t think he’s foolish at all, even though other people would probably think he was being tricked, I don’t think he was, I think he did exactly what he wanted to do… I think more than anything he just wanted to make other people happy.


Quoted from fruits baskets

Superficial Happiness

Someone once said that I could do anything and be good at it which is 70% true.


I could take arts(anyting that doe not have drawings in it), live life easy, have a Phd before 30, get a hot car, get a nice house and have plenty of money to throw at ppl to get laid or maybe hook a young boy and let him be addicted to me and change that guy every year or 2 or whenever I bored.

And of cos, pretend that I am happy with everything that I do. Superficial happiness is so much easy to find than true happiness.

The reason of not doing the above is simple, living a fake life is not my cuppa. Only in this aspect of life, I am cruel to myself. I want sumting that is sustainable, sumting that is forever not sumting that is temporary. Making riches/vanity a key point of my life is dumb.

In the end of day, I want to be happy with my life, not to compete with others who may have a better car, a bigger house or cute bf. I want to be happy with what treasures I have; my frens, my books and my mate.

I do not want to be those poor souls in our world, who preaches koans, verses day and night, night and day but secretly have tongues like serpents.

I want to be me, the most unique person in the universe, who cries watching sapping movies, who head bangs with metallica and the sort, who enjoys the company of others, who is noisy and quiet at the same time.

Wanting to have this type of life is not easy, there are times that I feel like shutting everything and throw money at those boys, just to get some feel good time. But at the every last min, the rotten brat that we call Conscience (truly I hate that voice) will press the stop button.

Work is work, play is play, in the end, I would like to have someone who will be there when I get home.

How to be a good Counselor

Its funny that most people that I know are some what competent in Psychology,even the worse of them know the basis of being a good counselor. I strongly advice those who are in education, to take a course in psychology as it may be beneficial to them and will of cos teach them on how to present the lessons in a good way.

So how to be a good counselor? The most important rule is not to pass judgement on the case until u hear the prob out.

1stly, encourage ur subject to speak out his prob without u putting ideas/influencing him to deviate from his core probs. Although, u can halt his laments by changing the topic while u process his words. Most importantly, u must know which part of the conversation is true and which is extra. he might put in some lies to make his story interesting.

2nd, no judgement must be passed so avoid using absolute words like must. Its better to use may or could while advising.

3rd, do not use high/harsh tones to indicate that he is wasting ur time. He comes to u with a hope that u may show him the right of doing things,if he doesn't feel that ur helping him but dictating, he may be reluctant to talk to u in future.

4th, advise him properly, do not turn the prob back to him.

Life of a counselor is not easy, u have so many stress factors to deal with. No matter how tired or busy u are, the subject's well being is vital. Make him feel comfortable talking to u. Remember that u are a fren to him not a JUDGE.

Formaldehyde

Those who have worked/working in labs hates this useful chemical. This compound is used for embalming or fixing tissues for H & E purposes.

Basically, it is an organic compound from the Aldehyde family, its systematic name is Methanal.

Formaldehyde preserves or fixes tissue or cells by cross-linking of primary amino groups in proteins with other nearby nitrogen atoms in protein or DNA through a -CH2- linkage.A solution of 4% formaldehyde fixes pathology tissue specimens at about one mm per hour at room temperature.

Formaldehyde solutions are used as a fixative for microscopy and histology, although the percentage formaldehyde used may vary based on the method of analysis. Additionally, the methanol used to stabilize formaldehyde may interfere with the ability to properly fix tissue or cells and therefore commercial formaldehyde preparations are available that are packaged in glass ampules under an inert gas to prevent the use of contaminating methanol for stabilization. Although formaldehyde solutions are commonly used as a biological preserving medium, usually for smaller specimens, it usually just prolongs the decaying process.

Several European countries restrict the use of formaldehyde, including the import of formaldehyde-treated products and embalming. Starting September 2007, the European Union banned the use of formaldehyde due to its carcinogenic properties as a biocide (including embalming) under the Biocidal Products Directive (98/8/EC).Countries with a strong tradition of embalming corpses, such as Ireland and other colder-weather countries, have raised concerns. Despite reports to the contrary,no decision on the inclusion of formaldehyde on Annex I of the Biocidal Products Directive for product-type 22 (embalming and taxidermist fluids) had been made as of September 2009.

Why u no?

Was watching Love and other Drugs which Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal starred in. The short story is Anne plays a woman with Parkinson's (stage 1) while Jake sells viagra and is getting promoted to HQ of Pfizer. He gave all up for Anne. Kinda nice,rite?


Which brings to my story, every now and then, someone would complain that their partners are not giving enuff of sex, attention, no good in bed and so on. Big deal, I say since I am still single(Life is no fair).

Before u wanna complain, pls do think.. who gives u a hug when ur were down, who sends u cheer up smses when u have no mood, who lets u cuddle with when u have a shitty day,who tries to make u smile when the boss is eating ur ass, who cries with u, who stands up for u when ur family do not treat u well..... of cos the list goes on and on...

But seriously, he may not be the perfect guy but he tries to be, no matter how tired he is, ur well being is his 1st priority.

So pls do not complain when he has no mood to fuck u..he may have sumting else in plan.

Control

Some are born with it, some are are not that lucky to have it naturally. I was from the latter, I do not have control, I lose myself easily, burn out too fast when doing a project,distracted with other stuff too fast. Constantly hitting the bottle to save my face. Till, I met HIM.

HE showed me what I am truly, the reason of my existence was for HIM. Thanks to HIM, I can focus better now, complete my goals that I wanted. He taught me that all I need to do is to GIVE UP my control, my life was not for me to handle. I need HIM to do that for me.

The first few months were evil, they were hell, I hated HIM to the core. But HE wanted me to be a better person, HE didn't gave up on me. HE pushed me hard to let me understand that control is not for everyone, its only for a certain selected individuals. The world is always divided into those who are in control and those who think that they are in control. People who are like me need people who are like HIM to function.

My life changed when I met HIM. Today, I am a better person, I see that in order for me to be happy, I gave up on control. HE truly understands what is control. Slowly, I realized that HE loves me, no matter how tough HIS LAWS were, HE always wants the best thing for me. Thinking was not my function, my function was to serve, HE gave me that chance for me to serve HIM. HIS punishments were to make me realized that control was his birthright. Something that I cannot have. Not all men are born equal, some exist to serve others.

IA0004

Mice

As some of u know that I am using mice for my research project. The cool thing is I am not using the normal mice that u can buy in the pet shop or the boring strains such as Bab/c or Wistar but NOD.Cg-Prkdcscid Il2rgtm1Wjl/SzJ or NSG for short.


The beauty of this strain is it has no T cells, B cells nor NK cells that help to regulate immuno response towards invading cells therefore its perfect for transplantation of organs, xenografs and etc. Also it does not leak when it grows old unlike Nude Mice.

The downside is they are a bit aggressive when handle and have a weird reaction towards ether or G.A. They will sort of run around the cage avoiding it unlike other strains which are more docile when under G.A.

These white mice are so beautiful and fluffy when they mature, u will be begging to make coats out of them when u touch the fur.

Oh yeah, they are fast and consistent breeders, a simple setup set needs 2 dames and 1 sire which can be kept for 5 cycles or more. The genotype stays true for each generation.

Dating again?

Since my last bf, I have not searching for anyone cos was busy with internship, looking for a job and now my masters which is tough topic, the full title is In-Vivo Anticancer Studies of Ternary Metal Complexes Containing 1, 10-phenanthroline in Mice. (a mouthful no?) Anyway, am happy with the title cos I am doing animal work, the last I check, the pay for ppl doing animal work is quite high. :)

Erm, Do I have time to date? erm, can fit that person into my life kot.. but again I work long hours so if anyone who wants to date me must move in.

I have a few candidates in mind but they are not the one, all have other things in mind.

I am not looking for someone great, just someone average who could be happy with the minimal things that I could offer like dinner at mamak, a movie or 2 every month, spending time on the bed talking shit also who give me good feedback. In short, am not going to be a teacher figure. That's rite, am past dating dumb blondes and divas.

Hopefully, I will not be foreveralone :)

Being Happy is a selfish thing

Discover what selfishness is. Selfishness is not using others, or making them serve you, or removing yourself from people. Selfishness is being primarily interested in your own goals. Selfishness has nothing to do with other people - a selfish person who hurts others is a contradiction in terms. A selfish person is concerned with their self, and has no need to hurt others.

Do find out what makes you happy. Having things that make you happy is the key to being selfish. Do what you love, value things, be a happy person. When you have discovered what it is that makes you happy, follow it.

Succeed in a certain area. Success is a primary component of being selfish. Being successful means that you have dedicated yourself to something that makes you happy and have followed through on it.

Stop sacrificing. Don't sacrifice unless its for something else that makes you happy. If you sacrifice, then you lose something that you value, something that makes you happy. You'll never live a full life if you live this way.

Understand the parts other people play in your lives. Remember, they are people, just like you. People are often an essential component to a selfish life. Having someone that you value and who's company you find enjoyable, your self finds a value in them. If you are in love with someone, that person is of value to you. To quote Ayn Rand, "In order to say 'I love you', you must first be able to say the I".

To Cling or not to cling?

A: I hate my bf, he is so unclingy...
B: I hate my bf, he is so clingy....


Sumtimes being clingy or not clingy is bad in a relationship. Some might like the fact that the bf is cling; he sms every hour, he meets for dinner,lunch and breakfast,he sticks like a shadow while others like the opposite.

I would term the 1st group, The clingers as dog ppl while the 2nd group,cat ppl. Dog ppl are like dogs; loyal, affectionate, loving just like how a dog would be and would throw tantrums when they don't get the required mandatory hugs,sms,kisses and etc. Cat ppl are just like dog ppl but they can go with their lives without being over smothering or choking the other with love.

As for me, I rather be in between with 60% of cat. Experience have taught me that being 60% cat and 70% dog is the best way for my time management. Yes, I am selfish, I would sacrifice my time with bf to spend time in the lab(siao?).

I would be dotingly loving the partner when he is with me, bed cuddles, talks and hugs would be frequent thing but when I'm away, pls be prepared to have long breaks between the smses, also some lonely nites. Although it may not be much to offer but always believe that once I give my heart, its ur forever.

Nice no good?

Me: Can we date?
He: erm,ur too nice for me. I don't wanna break ur heart.


Being nice is nono.. Most girls don't like Nice Guys, Now it seems (looking at other blogs) that gays also will say nono to nice guys.

So its ok to date a jerk, player or even gold digger but its nono to nice guys. What is wrong with the picture here? Nice guys who loves u, who will take care of u properly, who will treat u decently and who will respect ur family is a nono but a crazy guy who beds everyone even the Jaga or a person who give u shit daily is dateable?

If u wanna dump someone or say no 2 someone, pls stop saying that person is nice and blah4, just say that " Sorry, I cannot date cos ur not my type or ur birthdate is all wrong". Those excuses do make sense.
The world, it seems is a weird place.. and now it is getting weirder..

Research

Elo, Sorry but this blog is not dead yet. I am currently working on my Masters; doing drug development. The drug that I'm testing on is new and its a metal based drug. The next Cisplatin perhaps.

On d personal side, kinda screwed with relationships, common scenario is I like that person but that person don't like me vice versa. Meet 3 people who shares the same wavelength, well sorta. 1 is a gal and the other 2 are gays. Its nice to talk to moderate ppl with moderate views,so unlike ppl who love to shove their extremism views on others especially on religion. I mean going to Mosque/Churches or even chanting the sutras every hour doesn't mean that ur good. Religion does evil too. So I beg u guys, u let me be, with my thoughts, views and ideas and I would not force u to pray to The Green Hamster.


Anyway, I love Adele. She reminds me of the singers from the old days, singers who rely on just on their voice, no props, no visual effects, no dancers wearing thongs or gun-bras. Lady Gaga is cool but after a while, she is boring.

Rewind to back to Love, I believe that to love someone is never to hurt someone let it be physical/emotional/mental. But why some are hurting their lovers in teh name of love. If u want to test on how much guys u can bag, then be solo, go and be free but do not hurt ur lover or send him for roller coaster ride. U may argue that u have been in the relationship for a long time but the sudden changes that u are making in turn are destroying the stability of the relationship. Come clean at the very 1st date of ur status especially those that are about ur health which could affect ur partner in the long run.

Yes, I know that I'm not the position to preach but if I have what others have, I would fight to make sure that my lover is safe and secure always.

Till next time