Monday, May 31, 2010

Tea or Coffee

I really don't know how to write about this sudden urge to question my sexuality,erm,don't get me wrong,I'm happy with the person I am,just that some events that started during my exams week that trigger this need to reflect on it.

The events are:

1) My cousin's wedding

My cousin who is in Singapore is going to get married in August 2010. I shuld be happy rite,unfortunately,this is the same cousin that I had sex with when I was in Pri 6 till Sec 1 ( I know I'm notti). This sudden announcement of him getting married made my other aunts asked when its my turn to tie the knot.

2) My fren's bf is turning straight

This one is a complete surprise for me cos he was the one who convince me to come out of the closet and now he is not doing anal sex with his bf and seems to be reluctant to do even oral sex. Latest news was the bf told my fren that its better for him to be single.

3) Oedipal urge

There is this article that I read about why gays turn gays and yeah,Oedipus played a role in it. As most of u know,in a nutshell,Oedipus was a Greek hero who killed his father to marry his mother. In the article,it states that gays become gays so that they could seek love from other men to compensate their dad's love for them and hate women due to their mums who "stole" their dads' love from them. Make sense doesn't it?

Could 100% ex-gays actually exist in the world? We all have heard that ex-gays do not turn straight 100% and sumtimes cheat on the wife with another gay guy. Is it true that we seek guys cos we lack of fatherly love? For me,the latter makes a bit of sense.

Since the age of 12,I had accepted that I'm gay although I'm not that sissy acting. I asked someone once who had dated girls why he became gay.His reply was "girls are like tea while guys are like coffee. When I don't get coffee,I'm okay with tea."

Is life that simple,is being gay is like switching a switch,gay one min,straight another min? All this while,we have been hearing that being gay isn't a choice,its causes are either the environment that ur being brought up or the genetic factor. How many gays who chose to be gay are out there...How many gays who have relatives who are gays themselves?

I know that sumtimes we are tricked to be gay or straight by our mind or other factors,remember the kid who Mike adopted in Queer as Folks,he turned out straight in the end,didn't he?

So what do I really prefer,Tea or Coffee?

7 comments:

said...

abt ur fren's bf turning into straight:-

i think the bf got a new guy, and dun really feel like having sex with ur fren anymore...

Unknown said...

if he turns straight, congratz him 'coz he has found his responsibility to the family. if you marry a girl, hey! congratz and make sure you give her your best, full of commitment!




[Jino] - A man's not a man unless he knows how to shoot

Pike-chan said...

As long as u r being comfortable of who you are...

Armanique said...

wow interesting... well im a late bloomer as well !!!

kidz said...

it feels like sometimes physical attractions may explain it better.. just follow ur heart as they say.. drilling down to explain why is for psychologist, sociologist.. imo.. =)

Lucas said...

Ichi... u shudnt post that info about your cousin here. He is about to get married, if someone made the connection with your blog to him, it would be disastrous.

ichimaru akira said...

LL: I think that is the case too

Jino: still thinking...

pikey: Sigh..who am i really?

Arman: Hahhaha

Kidz: thanks for the laugh... true2

Lucas: don't worry lah,this blog is only known to my facebook frens and none of them are family