Purpose

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signifying nothing.

Someone asked me was my purpose of LIVING during lunch today. I was speechless cos I didn't expected that he'll ask these type of questions. Although,I gave him a short reply,otw back home,the question kept invading my mind.

Seriously,what do we live for? Each of us will give a different answer depending on their status. Rich guys would say that their purpose is to be even richer,politicians would say that their purpose to garner more support,sages would simply say that their purpose is to gain understanding of the world.

Ok2,I'm beating the bush.

Seriously,What do I live for?

Not for work cos I'll retire someday
Not for studying cos my brain might start to decay
Not for my frens/children cos someday I'll be sleeping under 7 feet of soil alone and in darkness
Not for love cos in death,we part.

The answer is simple but hard to comprehend. I live in order to leave a legacy,not matter how small or how large my impact on others,I'll be happy if someone said," Ichi taught me this once or Ichi had encouraged me or Ichi had advised me or Ichi had said that" to some else.

I know that dying is lonely business and we'll be become nutrients for others sooner or later but I do hope I'll live forever in the minds of ppl that I will or had touched. Maybe that's why I choose to blog about the future,the present and the past so that others would learn from my mistakes or heed my sayings or simply learn something new when they read my posts.

I also wish that each day,I can put a smile on the faces on ppl that I love and care and help to lighten their burden.

Yes,these are my purpose of living........

Hidden gem pt 2

The other day,I posted pics of cute malay guy.This time around,I'm going to intro a cute chinese guy.

Name: Jing
Age: 17-18
Location: Batu Pahat
Occupation: Student @ Chinese High school
Orientation: Still experimenting

Meet me halfway

The thing that I hate the most is WAITING. I don't care what the scenario is,I simply hate waiting.

Why do I hate WAITING?

Well,1st of all,I'm a planner sort of guy,I plan things especially events that could affect my working schedule,studying schedule and lastly,my "me" time. Of cos there times when I follow the flow. By making me wait,ppl actually disrupt my time to do other things which I hate to reschedule it.

2nd, making ppl to wait for others is actually rude and shows how much u value them. I know its a rather subtle gesture but that's the reality of it. Presidents,Kings and other VIPs make others wait to show their importance to the court.

3rd,as some of u,I'm taking a life science subject and my uni schedule conflicts with other unis' schedule especially the IPTAs,so when the IPTAs are having their sem-break,I'm having classes.Therefore,I'll have a ton of stuff to do.But if I could spare time for others,shouldn't u have the same courtesy?

Personally,I value 3 things in friendship which are loyalty,trustworthiness and punctuality.But of cos,I'm no saint but I will inform the other party if I'm late and also tell them the estimated time of my arrival so that they wouldn't wait for long.

Below is a scenario on how I deal with ppl who don't appreciate Time:

This happened during my secondary years. I was to meet a fren at KL sentral.This guy has a habit of arriving late so I told him that I'll be arriving at 1 but actually my arrival time is 1.30 to compensate his lateness. Smart rite but unfortunately,he is even smarter.At 1.30,he called me and said that he's otw,expected to arrive in 20 mins.

After 20 mins,he called again and said that he's arriving in 20 mins. He repeated the same msg once more.On hearing this stupid msg again,I told him that its ok,he can take his sweet time and come. By the time,he arrived,I'm already halfway back.

Oh yeah,another queer habit of mine is to give a person 3 chances and after the 3rd chance been wasted,I will not contact u anymore.

Desert

Many ppl would say that when u have probs or kept thinking about stuff that you can't do about,its best to make urself preoccupied with other stuff.After all,the idle mind is the devil's playground.

Well,according to pshrinks out there,those who avoid solving their probs and try to bury themselves with other stuff are actually in denial. What good u get,if u bury one prob with another.Slowly the problems would suck u in.Its better if u spend time trying to solve the prob one by one.

So how you can solve the problems? Its actually quite easy,it begins with u accepting that u have a prob.

Then,head out into the desert aka solitude. Why do u need to this? Well,in the desert,u'll find the purest water source rite? So when ur in solitude,ur purest thoughts on the prob will emerge.These thoughts are without any outside input or influences,they are all urs. Of cos,negative thoughts will come but sumtimes these thoughts are insightful. These negative thoughts appear for a reason.

Next step is to talk about it,confront the source of ur prob,let it be ur boss or bf. Always give the other party a chance to defend themselves and think about their explanation. Does the explanation make sense?Does the other party keeps repeating the same thing again and again?

Lastly,make a stand on the issue and make sure that the other party gets the msg.

If all the above doesn't work, be brave enuff to walk out of the door and close it forever.

Impromptu

Last nite,I supposed to blog about my day out and the job discussion together but I had to do sumting else with sum1 else so I stopped with the job discussion thing.

Last Saturday,I was supposed to go and have lunch with the SISTAHS but unfortunately I can't so yesterday,I invited all to lunch at Qasih (located behind Tesco Extra). The spread looked yummy but since the gals were late,we had limited choice of food to pick from. A word of caution,if u want to eat there make sure that u can tahan pedas cos the food is cooked ala Minang. Even I had to drink 2 glasses of water.

The Impromptu part starts here........

After lunch,we went out to Quality Hotel for a karaoke session. It was relatively cheap if u compared it to Redbox and the rooms are comfy.Each of us paid rm 11 je for 2 hours,free flow of drinks and crackers and fruits. The crackers and fruits are compulsory,kinda lame.

Anyway,we had a blast of a time. We sang,serenaded,danced and drank to our hearts content.








After the session,I went to work and played SUDOKU for 5 hours.(Did I tell uolls that I'm a nerd?)

At 11 pm,I got a call from a unimate asking whether I could get Dafi to perform in a charity event that my batch is organizing. I was like WTF. Luckily,I got friends in the entertainment business so I kinda have a few singers lined up.

I'm not complaining about the event but pls don't expect ppl to clean ur shit every time.

At 1 am,I went out with the guy who invited me to his uni dinner. I actually met him a day before but we were just going all around Shah Alam to do our errands. Finally,someone to bug while I wait for my number to be called. (yeah,I HATE WAITING TOO).

He asked me why I was so down and kept ignoring his smses and calls.I told him everyting that happened. Lucky for me,he's a good listener......

And that concludes my list of events on Tuesday.

Life after Grad

I was talking to a few ppl about life after graduation. Most said that getting a job in the Biomed field is tough and a degree in Biomed is worthless unless u pursue a Masters. A few of them were talking about venturing into other fields like education or finance.

These kind of talks make me kinda uneasy cos the world is changing rapidly,during my primary school years,the hype was about IT,then during my secondary school years,that bubble burst and ppl are talking about Bio-stuff (there is Bio-informatics,Bio-cybernetics and the list goes on and on,just add Bio to any word and u get a new field of study). But u have to remember that this hype is fueled by the Government so if the Govt decides to focus on sumting else,we're screw. The only job that I think is secure is being Doctor,everyone is a patient.

So far,the Job Opportunities that I had gathered is:

1) Working in Labs or Hospitals

My time spent studying would be worth it. I'll get the exposure and experience that I need to go further into the field. I'll also get a chance to get a doctor as a husband.Mum would be so proud. The downside is I'll get a smaller starting pay if I work in the hospitals but I'll get allowances and other Govt. freebies.

2) Working in the army(Medical Corps)

Almost the same cons and pros as the above but as least I'll be Captain and I can see those askars.Yummy. The pay and the allowances are quite tempting but I'll be living in the camp and have minimum choices in the work postings.

3) Working in other unrelated fields

I'll get higher pay and experiences. Although its unrelated but I still can improve myself and have a better understanding of the world. The pay is bigger.Eg. working in banks,u'll get a starting pay of rm 3 k but u need to go for courses and all that.

Being a teacher is also quite ok but I heard nowadays,MOE is accepting those who has a degree in teaching only. So I need to study for another a year or 2.

Its funny now that I realized how demand and supply works,too much of fresh grads,too little jobs openings. So far these are the work options that I have,my decision is pending as I have 1 year more to go. I have to rethink later when I get the scroll as the world changes too rapidly.

Maybe,I can work at the lorongs? :)

Kulturny

The other day,I was watching AFC,there is this show that discusses about how farm animals are unjustly treated. For example,they encouraged the purchase of free range chicken over force-fed chicken.

The funny thing is the show reminded me of how the Russian elite treated their comrades or foreigners during the soviet era. For an example,a general could shed tears while watching a opera but has the heart to send the mother of AWOL guy to Siberia or the treatment of those ppl who were put into the gulag.

To me,a chicken is chicken,a fish is a fish,a cow is a cow,it doesn't matter how it was being bred as long as I could eat it.What matters is how I treat my fellow humans. I mean who cares if u treat the animal that is to be slaughtered with the highest respect but u can't spare a dime for the beggar down the street.

Its funny when u see where civilization had brought us,we are caring more about the animals than our fellow humans these days.

Another reason why I don't support this effort is its expensive.Don't believe me,go to the nearest hypermarket and judge it urself. U can sometimes buy 2 of the normal chicken instead of buying one of free-range chicken.

Here's an advice from me,if u want to do some good,stop buying products like the above mentioned and allocate the extra cash to charities and if u still have spare,give it to me,I'll help u to spend it.

Toxic

Last nite,as I was on the way to dreamland,I got a call from Adam who is a close fren of mine when I was staying in Spore. He is one of few frens who still keep in touch with me thru emails and YM.

He was surprised at the things I wrote in my blog for the past year.According to him,I'm consistently sinking and he was angry at how I'm handling stuff. He said that I have changed a lot this past 4 yrs,getting too emo and all. He said how can a mountain be reduced into sand this quickly. He was also angry at me not trusting the gang to help me out.

I admit that this year's theme for me is "EMO",nothing seems to be right,the things I touch often break. His words reminded me the time I was away from Home. Strangely,I was happy not being with my family.(does this make sense?).

Last nite, I got a jolt,a butt kick and a tight slap from him all in one hour. The chat was super duper honest,Adam is sort that would say his mind out without minding the outcome and to tell the truth,I needed that.

The chat made me realised 3 things:

1) The relationship between me and my dad is toxic. It is actually killing the relationships that I built with other ppl.

2) I have trust issues. I don't trust ppl enuff since that incident with sum1. I'm being so needy emotionally.

3) I'm internally stable as my judgements are still clear,all the probs that I'm having are externally which involves other ppl.

To my fellow readers,I'm sorry that u guys have to read all my emo posts for the past year. This blog wasn't meant for venting out my frustration but somehow it became an emo blog. This blog is suppose to reflect on how I think of myself and the world. This post marks the end of me being emo. Wish me luck.

Ps:" being happy and sad is part and parcel of life. U can't stop living just becos of an bad experience. The best you could do is never to be stuck at the same quagmire the next time," said Adam.

Porn is evil.

My home Internet connection is currently being disabled by my Saintly Dad. I don't know whether its a temporary thing or its going to be permanent. Either way,both suck. The reason being it was my dad saw some porn sites listed in the history of the browser. Before,u guys kena heart attack,let me assure u that those sites are catered to straight porn.

My Saintly Dad now accuses me of watching straight porn which I did not watch or even click at. So the only person that I could think of is my 15th bro. But its not as clear cut as that,my Saintly Dad said that how can my bro watch porn cos he is quite the religious type. My inner voice said," Dad,didn't u watch the news recently. These religious type are so pent up that they either have the most number of children or are sexs offenders."

To me,its a small thing. I mean Porn gives married men and those in couple an excuse to watch another woman's parts,for gay guys,its a boon.Its not like my bro or me are having sexs with ppl under his nose or whatever. I mean we are as good as childern come,we don't smoke,don't go out unless we have his permission and we get good grades.CUT US SOME SLACK LAH.

Another thing is he is a hypocrite,I found his stash of porn once and its a big stash.

Sometimes,when I talk to other parents about my dad,they would say that he's lucky and stupid. I really don't know how to communicate with him anymore. When I'm being a good son,he would push my patience further by imposing more rules and when I'm being a bad son,he would start to spread my evil doing to his frens.

Every time that I confront him,he'll say that its his house so what he says goes.

Every sem,I hope it would be my last sem so that I could work and get out. And every time,things between us go south,I would think of quitting my studies and work.

What do you think I shuld do to save my mind?

Ps: I'll try to go to CC everyday.

Be a Paddy plant

Remember the malay saying,Ikut resam Padi,semakin berisi,semakin ia tunduk. Jgn ikut rersam lalang,semakin berisi,semakin menegak. In translation, Be a paddy plant,as its matures,it will bow down.Don't be like the weed,as it matures,it rises.What the saying is trying to imply is as u reach the top,don't be arrogant.

I know that its a hard life when ur at the bottom of the food chain,u'll get stamped on,looked down,spitted on etc etc. And when,u reached ur goal or success,u'll surely want to gloat or goad those ppl who said that u'll never make it.

But what's the point of gloating or goading,it shows that ur no better than them,remember one of the reasons u wanted to be successful is to show that u can lead a better example.

I noticed that some of the bloggers or ppl in my life is acting like the weed. Yes,we all went to the tough life,we all know how it feels to be compared to a vermin but why some can look past the nastiness and show a better example to the younger generation while some can't?

This reminds me of a story. Remember the Late Naza. He went into a BMW showroom wearing a sarong and shirt. One of the salesmen sneered and told him off but the other patiently answered his questions and stroke a deal.The next day,The Naza went into the same showroom but now he's wearing a smart suit. Behind him,a entourage of ppl carrying black bags. He went and finalized the deal of buying a BMW but he gave one condition which was the salesman who sneered at him have to count all the coins in the bags to validate the amount he paid.

What I'm trying to say is,no matter how high u go,there is always someone that is higher than u. So why the attitude?

Ps: I know that the translation seems to be a bit insinuating but bear with it,k
Pps: The young Naza is quite the catch.Wonder if he's single

Telor Selatan

As all of u know that Bahasa Malaysia is the official language of Malaysia but sumtimes we could hear the local variant of the language which is sumtimes so different from the official version.

When I migrated to Malaysia,many of my schoolmates said that my Bm was funny cos many of them were familiar with the northern and central slangs but not with the southern version of Bahasa Malaysia. I really do look stupid talking Bm that time.

Below are the some common terms that's in the southern slang:

1) Anu: usually used to talk about someone isn't present or to point to a thing

2) Bilang: To tell

3) Hari minggu: Sunday

4) Hari 1-6 : The days in a week excluding Sunday.Hari 1 refers to Monday

5) Rumah Pasung: Police station

6) Menggilai: To laugh uncontrollable

7) Pegang(the "Pe"is pronounce as "Pei") : To hold

8) Tengok Gambar: Watch Movie


I know my list is a quite incomplete so if there is any Johoreans who want to add,pls do so.Thanks

M.A.D

The term M.A.D was 1st coined during the Cold War era,it stands for Mutually Agreed Destruction.It was believed that both the US and USSR had the capability to destroy in world in by nuclear. This M.A.D scenario prevented both parties to actually push the red button. Many thinks that the world is ending in 2012 or 3000 but few realized that the world almost came to an end on 1962.

Enuff of the history part. What I'm trying to say is in every relationship,there is M.A.D scenario,a point where both parties said or do too much to start the end of a relationship.

I agree that sumtimes when we fight,even quarrel between frens can escalate quickly into a fight till death cos each misunderstood the other party's intention. This often happened when both parties have strong personalities and huge egos.But at in the end of the day,u always know that u can rely on the other for support.

But what happens if the other party or even you,yourself failed to stop at the line and over crossed the line,sure u can always hope forgiveness but sometimes,2 much is just 2 much.

The cause of the quarrels are simple in reality,quarrels start with one's demands in the relationship is not met by the other party and the other party's demands more. This would result in either a lose-win situation which will cause the loser to hold a grudge or a lose-lose situation which both parties gained nothing in the end. Each party in the relationship must know when to pull and let go,if one keeps pulling the other,surely the other would snap. And so you think that its fair for one party to keep giving in?

Just think about it.
Ivan

Loving stone

* For those who are were in mythology,Venus is the Roman equivalent of Greek Aphrodite.


In Cyprus,there was a man named Pygmalion who is Venus's master sculptor,most of the statues in Venus's temples were carved by him.

Although,he is a devotee of Venus,he never felt any lust for women. Some say he lost his lust after seeing the Propoetides prostituting themselves. His Mother and Nurse kept inviting women to feast at their house in hopes that Pygmalion would open his heart to one of them.But he kept to himself,planning on his next masterpiece for Venus's temples.

One day,he gotten orders to carve a statue for Venus's newest temple.The temple priestess sent him a block of marble. He worked night and day to create his greatest piece so that he could show his devotion to Venus. He worked without stopping for eating nor sleeping.

After a few weeks,he walked out of his studio and told his Mother and Nurse that the statue is completed. His Nurse wanted to send a msg to temple priestess so that she could collect the statue but Pygmalion forbid her,saying that he is willing to pay the price for the marble but he isn't going to give it to Venus. His Mother and Nurse was shocked at his statement and said that he is inviting Venus's wrath onto himself and he said that," Let all the Gods and Goddesses send me into the depths of Tartarus but I'll will never give this statue back".

Pygmalion stared at the statue day and night,even moved his bed into the studio where the statue was cos he had fallen in love with it. The statue was indeed the finest creation of Pygmalion.Her curves were perfect,her lips were succulent,her eyes were radiant,in short if the statue is placed next to Cyprus's beauties,the statue's beauty would dim the rest.

One day,Pygmalion couldn't stand the nagging of his Mother,Nurse and the temple priestess and his passion for the statue was driving him to the brink of insanity,he went to the temple and asked Venus a single boon.He pleaded and begged at Venus for he has done nothing wrong,his reasoning was since heteros and homos could find love,why can't he fall in love with statue.

Out of pity for her most devoted devotee,Venus replied his pleas and grant him his wish,She told him to go back and plant a kiss on the statue's lips and what is stone would be flesh.

Pygmalion rushed back and did what Venus told him to do and to the amazement of his Mother and Nurse,he finally found his woman.

2012

I went to watch it at Bukit Raja alone since either the regular kakis were free or haven't watch it.
The movie was superbly done.

One part of the movie made me think,its about the option of either be left behind or follow and start a new world,I wonder would I have enuff guts to choose the 1st option so that others could live. The part that I hate is the movie discrimates Muslims,they show that the temples,churches and synagogues being destroyed but what about Mosques,why spare us or maybe we're to insignificant to have some airtime. Damm you,Taliban.

This movie is definitely on my "to watch it again".

Ps: had a long day hence the short post.

Clique-less

Its strange how certain topics get around in the blogosphere,recycled and given a fresh intake of the topics.

I hate cliques,I reaally do. The problem with cliques is the rules. In a clique,we always have a Queen figure who dictates who's in and who's out and sumtimes different cliques don't mix well with each other.

I was a part of a clique before and I hated every outing,dinner and brunch with them.The reason was they were too orderly for me,I couldn't hang with other frens and lastly,they insisted on having only a certain character in their group. For me,the last reason is damm stupid cos it kills the sense of individuality.

Since then,I just find individuals who share the same wavelength or interests as I do. If they introduced me to their other frens,I'm ok with it but don't expect me to agree to everything that the majority agrees on.

This attitude of mine makes ppl think that I'm snobbish or ego-centric but actually,I'm quite frenly and eccentric. I know I have certain quirks when discussing about manga or science or history issues or even sumtimes,questions on life. Hey,that's my right to question why the sky is blue.

Being clique-less actually gives me a sense of freedom especially freedom in thinking. I have known drugs addicts and ppl who drives big cars and love fine dining. This experiences that I got do help me in being a better person and know that time pondering on thinking about what the world thinks about me is time wasted.

I don't need to follow ppl's footsteps in making a mark for myself in life. I rather like being alone and being heard than being in a crowd and shouting for ppl to hear me.

But being clique-less has one prob though, u have to decide which open-house that you want to go to and being polite in the rejecting the rest.

The value of a man

They say that a guy's value lies on his manliness. If so,I have no value cos I'm gay.

Then some say that the wisdom of a man makes him priceless.If so,why do scholars die penniless?

Then some say that the number of frens that a guy has makes him well sought after.If so,why do we have the saying," Biar ada banyak teman tapi berkawan dgn satu."

Then again,ppl say that a man worth lies in his children.Yet again,I'm worthless.

Then as I climb the mountain to find the Sage,some said that a man's value is determined by his wealth. I feel that I'm poorer that before.

When it was my turn to ask the Sage of my question,a woman whispered that a man who knows to use his stick well is worth all the gold in the world. If that's the case,I wonder how many ppl would be rich,too few to count,I guess

On hearing my question,the Sage laughed and said that a man's value isn't measured but all of those qualities but its measured by how he treats the lesser of his kind and the smaller creatures.For a man will grow senile someday,his tool will shrink,his stamina will be lessen,his frens would die or move on when his wealth diminishes and his children will consider him as a burden when all the above happens.

Revealing Desperate Housewives

We all love Desperate Housewives.Its plot is wonderful and who can resist the bitches?

Let's get into focus,k? The series is a breath of fresh air. Who thought of putting the secret lives of housewives on prime time and spice it with all the latest issues like having a gay son,mortgage and etc.

I'm not going to talk about the series which everyone watches.( What! u never watch it or heard about it? Go back to ur cave and stay there.)

I'm going to dissect the housewives' personalities instead.

1) Bree Van de Kamp

She is such a perfectionist,has superb etiquette from dressing to dining. Although,she's quite the lady,her inner self is such a sinner. She is those type of ppl that hides her true nature behind a facade. Woe betide those who said that she is wrong.

2) Lynette Scavo

She is a over controlling maniac. She wants order in her life and her house. The cause of her nature was due to the drunkard mum and non-existent dad. She imasulates men. The bread-winner of the family. Deep down,she is super insecure of herself.

3)Edie Britt

The bane of every married women,girlfrens or single ladies,so keep ur husbands or boyfrens indoor when she walks down the lane. Sexy is her. But she wasn't a sex bomb from birth. She was a fat,ugly girl during high school who was shunned by the boys. Dumping the boys when heat is at the max is her revenge for those years.

4)Garrielle Solis

A model,a housewife,a slut,a mother. She has done it all and did it beautifully. She is small-sized but don't let it fool u,her mouth is her greatest asset. Jewelry and high end clothes are her best frens. But don't worry,if u needed help,she won't mind to dirty her hands to help u. Cross her and ur dead.

5) Susan Mayer

She is mess,insecure and worries about her children a lot. In her past,she was the prized gal,every boy's dreams,the Queen of her school. Marriage and Divorce crushed her confidence. Cooking is not for her unless u want an excuse to not come into the office She will never take no for answer. If u need a person to talk to,go to her. Break her trust and u'll be 7 feet under.

Russian Roulette

I got the title from Rihanna's new single. (Go and Google it)

The other day,a close Gf asked me," Hey,ichi.Aren't u not afraid to go to the homes of guys u met online. What if they are the crazy sort? ". I told her that there is always fear in going to the homes of strangers but which single gay could resist a cutey or hottie,kan?

During secondary school,I used to met those abang2 at a local mall,often lying about my attire or omit a few details on where to meet so that I could check whether they are genuine anot.(Ichi is such a notti teenager). Then I would asked them to have a drink.Only after that,I would be brave enuff to follow them home.

But there is one time when I wrongly judged a guy,he was kinda weird in bed,maybe its a fetish for him. Anyway,when he was fucking me,he started to strangle me.At 1st,it was just light,then he started to tighten his grip. I started to panic and gave him a kick and he released the grip. I told him that I didn't like what he did and left.

In many ways,I was damm lucky to escape.Just imagine if he insisted in cuming before I leave his place.

After that incident, I always tell one or 2 frens on where I was going to meet the guy and where he stays and I rejected offers to meet at/go to unfamiliar territories so that even if he drops me at any place,I get back safely,that's if he didn't slash my throat 1st.

These days,I still place a few safety measures so that anything happens,ppl would know where I am at.

To the young ones,never trust a fuck buddy a hundred percent especially if he's older cos he knows more tricks than u. Keep a hand phone in hand and know that u always have the right to say no to his advances.

Sick and naive or sick and Nice

I was sick for the past 3-4 days due to d kanasai weather, hot in the morning,super hot in the afternoon and raining and cold in the evening and nite. But again the kanasai weather is not to be blamed,recently I have been helping a few frens with editing their thesis which is super tiresome cos need to scroll the pages up and down a few times to spot the misspelled word,I ended up with a major headache and incorrect mealtimes. And how much did I get? Rm 100. Next time,I shuld just zip my bloody mouth.

Zipping my mouth? That's what I'm good at nowadays. Its not worth it to be a nice guy in this age. Ppl just mow u down. I wonder would I be missed if my obituary is posted in the papers? Probaly not,I mean who flips the newspapers to look for that section anyway.

I missed those days where an ear is always nearby,nowadays I need to take an appointment or wait till their schedules clear up for me or even worst,I need to wait for them to be in mood.Sigh,being a good is so 70s.

I shuld be more hardhearted. What ur stuck with the crocs? Erm,wait,k? I'm having my pedicure.I think I'll be done in a hour,hold on,k.Bye2

Chic movies are so overrated, The Plastics always win in the end,the freaks disappear into history. Don't know why we root for Emily,not the dieting one,the other Emily. Being evil is new fad.

1o more days,well its an estimation after all

Words from the Author

1st of all,I would like to thank Bear2 and Armanique for their comments on every part of the story I wrote,Spring in Orchard. Sori to make it a tragedy,maybe my other stories would have an happy ending. If u noticed,Spring in Orchard is my 2nd attempt to write a romantic story,the 1st was Golden Dildo which I stopped cos most of the pairings clashed so in order not to rub salt into their wounds,I didn't published the rest.(To those who want the full story of the Golden Dildo,pls email me for it)

Why did I write Spring in Orchard? There were a lot reasons behind it,one of it was boredom and cos someone lamented in his blog that there is limited gay love stories out there.

Ok,enuff about it.

Last Thursday,I went out with a lengcai guy( Chinese,170 cm,20,65) for a dinner in one of the hotels in Shah Alam (his fren was having an event). The dinner was nicely done,got a lot of entertainment and the emcee was excellent.

The funny part was the Lengcai couldn't differentiate between a soup spoon and a dessert spoon and often used the wrong utensils for the course meals. I was amazed that as a lengcai,he didn't do his homework or at least learn the proper dining etiquette. Sigh,its shows that sumtimes looks ain't everything.

Spring in Orchard pt 6 (Final)

Dan and Chuck shared many many happy nites, angry nites and sumtimes lonely nites together like most other couples even though their bedside discussions are different from others,they talked about Rome,Marlowe and sumtimes Freud and Jung. They always try to stimulate each other's brains and not limiting themselves to the Anterior Commissure.

Its true that time do not stop for any mortals. Soon,it was their 1st year anniversary. They had their celebration at Raffles hotel.

Chuck: Love........ I got sumting to tell u

Dan was starting to be uneasy cos Chuck had never substitute his name with Love or anything equivalent unless he's going to discuss business or serious matters.

Dan: What?

Chuck: U know that the company is expanding to Canada rite?

Dan: Yeah...

Chuck: Well,I agreed to Mum's suggestion that I'll be in charge of that branch. It means that I need to move there so that I can monitor it.

Dan: Well,I can stay here if u want.... u can use a chastity belt if u want.

Chuck: Hahhaha,Love, I want u to follow to me there. U can enroll urself in one of the Uni there. I'll support u throughout.

Dan: Tempting as that may,u know I'm just 20 yrs old.... Ur asking me to move with u to somewhere that is half a world away? Let's say that I agree with u,what guarantee that u can offer me that u wouldn't dump me?

Chuck : Dan......

Dan: Wait lemme finish. I know that u love me very much. But ur notion means that I need to come out to my family and I know that they would throw me out. I'm just 20 yrs old,Chuck... Asking me to do tis is almost like asking me to marry u... what if things don't make out between us........ I'll have nowhere to return to....I'm not a girl....... I'm a fucking HOMO!!!!

Chuck got up and walked to the window.

Chuck: I know that I can't offer u any guarantees or securities but I love u so much. U know that ur the 1st guy that I showed Mum and she adores u much. Tis past year,u had given me so much and if ur not there with me.... I really don't know what I'll do.

Chuck walked to Dan and hold Dan's hand.

Chuck: I love u so much. Will u,Dan be my husband? Will u leave the world and come with me?

Dan: Chuck,be serius,k? The magic ends at midnite.Yes,I will agree to ur 1st suggestion but not the 2nd....... I'm not a Cinderella type of guy... Lemme get my degree then we talk about this again....... I'm sori.

Chuck: Ur serius,aren't u? Ok,5 yrs... then I'll come with my carpet again.

Dan: Ur giving me an impasse? What happens if a guy comes and drags me off within that 5 yrs?

Chuck: LOl,u'll always wait for me.

Dan: Fuck u and let's get back to sleep.

Deep down,Dan knew that he would always wait for Chuck and will reserve that slot for him. The next day,they checked out and went off to their separate ways.

3 and a half Yrs later

Dan: Elo... U never change ur number..

Chuck: I know u would keep mine number and urs. U know that ur time is almost up. Found any Edmunds lately?

Dan: a few but........

Chuck: I'm going to Kl next month after my Washington trip. Care to meet up?

Dan: Sure. Chuck,I missed u so much.

Chuck: Gimme ur Ym and we'll chat there.

3 weeks later,in the wee morning

Stranger: Elo,is this Dan?

Dan: Yeah... who is this?

Stranger: Erm,I'm sori but I'm Chuck's fren, He was involved in an accident. He had put ur name in the Family list so.......

Dan frozen... Tears came down and he began to curse all the gods of why they gave him this fate.

Later in the evening

Dan: Elo, Mum.Its me,Dan

Mum: So u had heard...... The funeral is scheduled on Wednesday.Can u make it?

Dan: Mum,I don't have a passport yet and I got Finals soon.I'm so sorry.

The line went dead,Dan knew that Chuck would understand on why he isn't there to say his last goodbye.

A few months later,a parcel came for Dan and a letter was attached on it.It says:

Dear Dan,
I went over Chuck's stuff in Canada and I found this set of books that I think Chuck wants you to have it. I'm sorry about our last conversation. Come and visit me anytime.

Love,Mum

Dan ran into his room and tear the wrappings and ripped the box apart.In the box,it contained a few books that Dan liked and a compilation of The Shakespearean Tragedies. Behind the cover,written in paper was Chuck's last msg to him,

Dan,
These 4 plays reflects that choices that Humans made when Gods try to interfere. Freewill is and always be the strongest gift that Humanity could have.

Always loving u
Chuck

The end

Spring in Orchard pt 5

After a few dates,dinners and movies,Dan began to lower his barriers and walls to let his love for Chuck develop. During a dinner at Chuck's house,Dan decided to tell Chuck the truth about his past.

Dan is an introvert sort of guy. He rather liked being alone than having frens or any kind relationship cos he always got the worst deal out of any relationships. His parents are super busy and expects him to be a good and a model student,his siblings are too young for him to connect with and his extended family often squabble cos of fortune. If asked on his opinion on people,he would often state that people are liars,they use each other for personal gain,he prefers books cos of their honesty. Books may have different opinions on a certain topics but they are honest in stating their differences and in books,u know the beginning,middle and end and the story would stay the same throughout the years.On the other hand,ppl change,trusted frens may become enemies.

Chuck was shocked at Dan's explanation on things and told Dan that its true that ppl and relationships change over the years but sumtimes, we need learn to let go and move on or else it would eat us on inside.

The dates,dinners and movies continued and during dinner on one nite,Chuck popped the question and Dan agreed to the motion. Chuck asked Dan to move in so that they could spend more time with each other.

After a few weeks of being a couple and while cuddling in bed.

Dan: Erm,can I ask u sumting?
Chuck: Go on
Dan: Why don't u call me,dear or darling?
Chuck: Sigh,How good is ur Shakespeare?
Dan: I had read the tragedies but that's the limit.
Chuck: Good,remember Scene 2 of Act 2 of Romeo and Juliet?
Dan:Yeah
Chuck: What did Juliet said to Romeo?
Dan: Which one?There are too many dialogues.
Chuck: What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet....
Dan:So would Romeo would,were he not Romeo called......
Chuck: That's the answer in those lines there.

Dan turned red by his lover's words and pulled him closer and started to plant kisses all over.

Purple Dinosaur

A week ago,I bought a few dvds of "Barney" for my sis and that I think is my biggest mistake that I ever made or will make.

The sis kept playing the dvds again and again.Everytime,she gets back from school,she puts the dvd into the player and sings:

I love u
U love me
We are one big happy family
A kiss me to you
Blah,blah,blah

If u want him to confess to everyting or anything,use the songs in the soundtracks. Its very effective. Heck,he might even buy u a big lump of shiny rock to make u stop. I know I would.

Rite,now,I'm singing another version of the song above.The one that is sang by all parents who innocently bought the fucking dvds. Enjoy

I hate you
you hate me
let's tie Barney to a tree
shoot him with a 64
then there'll be no dinasour

I hate you
you hate me let's all kill Barney
put a knife in his head
and a bazooka up his butt
won't you say that Barney's cut

Spring in Orchard pt 4

Dan didn't dare to contact Chuck anymore cos of the incident earlier but he also didn't want to delete Chuck's number from his Hp. He still go to Borders every now and then hoping to see Chuck and apologize.

One rainy Saturday,he saw Chuck browsing books in the shop. He walked to Chuck.

Dan: Hi,how are you?
Chuck: Excuse me,do I know u?
Dan: I'm sorry about the other day. I'm not used to have ppl helping me out like that.
Chuck: Follow me.

Dan followed Chuck silently into Starbucks. They both ordered their drinks and sat at one of the sofas.

Chuck: I'm still angry at u. Why u didn't contact me earlier?

Dan:I'm sori. I thought u would be angry with me,after what I did.Its not that I'm not grateful of what u did but its so alien.

Chuck: Maybe I was hasty. But u could wait till I was wake before leaving the house.

Dan: I'm sorry,k. This change isn't easy for me. I'm here alone without frens except my camp mates. I have been drinking every weekend,broke at the end of every month. That place that we walked out from was my safe haven and u destroyed it.... U and ur frenly smile.... Aren't u afraid that someday,ppl might break your heart...

Chuck: Oh God. I believed that ppl are better beings than what ur trying to describe. Yes,ppl might break ur heart but if God could forgive the vilest,cruelest man,who are we to not do that? After all,we are created in God's image.

Dan: Spare the preach. Everyone that I know left a scar in my heart. U say to take it flat?Swallow the bitter pill and hope for better things? Shall I take u to Woodbridge?

Chuck: Do you read books regarding religion? I saw u borrowing a lot of religious books the other day.Tell me what they all preach?

Dan: The betterment of Humanity.

Chuck: Humans are amazing,they are the only ones that are given freewill. They can be good or bad,depending on their acts.

Dan: So ur doing this cos of freewill?

Chuck: Partly..... the other reason is I like u.

Dan choked on his Latte and smiled at Chuck's revelation. They spent the whole evening talking about themselves and their backgrounds.

Before parting,they agreed to meet the next day at Takashimaya.

Spring in Orchard pt 3

Dear Chuck,

Thanks for letting me spending the nite here.

Dan

Chuck woke up and saw the note above. He quickly got up and called Dan.

Chuck: Elo,why did u leave so early?
Dan: Erm, I don't want to intrude.
Chuck: Where are u now?
Dan: Somewhere in between Raffles and City Hall station.
Chuck: I want to u to alight at City Hall. I'm going there now.
Dan: Don't needlah, I'm stinky and smelly.
Chuck: WTF? I don't care. I'm going to see u at that station,k?
Dan: erm,ok

Chuck went into the bathroom,telling himself that the kid is indeed dumb.

After 30 mins,they meet at the City Hall. Chuck scolded Dan for leaving just like that and leaving a stupid note. Dan in protest told Chuck that he didn't want to burden him and started to walk from Chuck.

Chuck: Danny boy, Don't be a wuss. Let me send u home.
Dan: Look here,I'm have been surviving for the past 19 years alone for the most parts.I know how to get back home.Why do u care so much?
Chuck: Fine,I just have to drag u back then.
Dan: WTF do u think you are? Who gave u the right to dictate me.Don't u dare to think that we're a couple just becos I told u my story last nite!!
Chuck: U are the biggest moron that I have meet. Fine,have it ur way. Don't bother to call me again. Goodbye