Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero

Tu ne quaesieris, scire nefas, quem mihi, quem tibi
Finem di dederint, Leuconoe, nec Babylonios
Temptaris numeros. Ut melius quidquid erit pati,
Seu pluris hiemes seu tribuit Iuppiter ultimam,
Quae nunc oppositis debilitat pumicibus mare
Tyrrhenum: sapias, vina liques, et spatio brevi
Spem longam reseces. Dum loquimur, fugerit invida
Aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.

I'm sick of thinking about the future and who might be with me or who might leave me.A lot of my frens are seasonal friends and too few frens are true frens. Ppl always come into my life,some were invited and some were not. Some had made promises to be together always and some had broke their forever pact.

Each person left their own marks in my life canvas,some were good while some were bad.

The bad experiences made me stronger,made my walls thicker and made my shields better. Right now,I'm lost,especially in the love department. Too many bad experiences,too many times,my heart broke and mend.

Don't believe me,check this list:

1) Ex no 1 moved to Canada
2) Ex no 2 used me as pit stop
3) Ex no 3 thought we're fuck buddies
4) Ex no 4 wanted an open relationship
5) Ex no 5 was a 2 timing bastard

And now since I had talked to Baby,I found out that he just wanted exp.

Yes,I agree that I'm a fool in love but if someone showered u with a lot of love and said stuff that really put u in 7th heaven,wouldn't you fall in love?

My frens said that I need to improve on heart control and they said that sometimes I'm the problem,being to clingy and all.They also said that there were instances that I was creating barriers to shield myself,scared of committing and just being a fussy.E.g Man.

I'm totally lost now,ppl who were close became strangers and ppl who were strangers became close. My blog is my shelter from the world,a place that I can be me,my place of solitude but now ppl are coming to me and quoting stuff from my blog,asking things that I share with no one.Sigh,maybe I shuld just close this blog and blog some where else.

The readers would alredi know that there are a lot of faces and persona that Ichi could be,from a horny bastard to an intellectual professor. To the people in reality,I'm really don't show my true self cos of number of things,if I were to state here,you'll label me as a snob. So I always portray myself as a idiotic,blur and don't care persona. This actually conserves my energy and expand my tolerance factor. See I told you that I'm a snob.

Yes,I know that I tend to write emo stuff here cos I can't write Happiness,unlike Little prince, Happiness simply oozes out from his blog. I have through a lot that I realised that Happiness is unreal,happily ever after never comes.

Screw the Future,Love and Happiness,I'm only interested in living my life and in the present.