Toxic

Last nite,as I was on the way to dreamland,I got a call from Adam who is a close fren of mine when I was staying in Spore. He is one of few frens who still keep in touch with me thru emails and YM.

He was surprised at the things I wrote in my blog for the past year.According to him,I'm consistently sinking and he was angry at how I'm handling stuff. He said that I have changed a lot this past 4 yrs,getting too emo and all. He said how can a mountain be reduced into sand this quickly. He was also angry at me not trusting the gang to help me out.

I admit that this year's theme for me is "EMO",nothing seems to be right,the things I touch often break. His words reminded me the time I was away from Home. Strangely,I was happy not being with my family.(does this make sense?).

Last nite, I got a jolt,a butt kick and a tight slap from him all in one hour. The chat was super duper honest,Adam is sort that would say his mind out without minding the outcome and to tell the truth,I needed that.

The chat made me realised 3 things:

1) The relationship between me and my dad is toxic. It is actually killing the relationships that I built with other ppl.

2) I have trust issues. I don't trust ppl enuff since that incident with sum1. I'm being so needy emotionally.

3) I'm internally stable as my judgements are still clear,all the probs that I'm having are externally which involves other ppl.

To my fellow readers,I'm sorry that u guys have to read all my emo posts for the past year. This blog wasn't meant for venting out my frustration but somehow it became an emo blog. This blog is suppose to reflect on how I think of myself and the world. This post marks the end of me being emo. Wish me luck.

Ps:" being happy and sad is part and parcel of life. U can't stop living just becos of an bad experience. The best you could do is never to be stuck at the same quagmire the next time," said Adam.