Sunday, December 6, 2009

I reject,I reject,I reject

For those who are in my facebook might notice that I had changed my profile pic into this:



There are 3 reasons behind the change:

1) Dinner guy

We went out often for lunch or breakfast since the dinner event,got to know each other better and once or twice ended up in his bed (Sue me,I love sex).

The last time we met was on 28/11.We were enjoying the after sex glow,just cuddling in each others arms and talk about stupid stuff when he asked the "golden question" of what lies in our future. I stopped fondling his hair and got up and began slurping my Slurpee after which I just made a dumb excuse to leave his place.When we said goodbye,the look on his face was damm sad,its like I just had stabbed him.

Then he msged me asking my reply for his question. Well,I think uolls know what my reply is rite.

2) Mirc guy

He's from Miri,trying to get a job in the Klang Valley. We met up as frens in Mirc but ending up a bit more than frens.His term for it is "teman tp mesra" Again Lust got the better of me and we end up doing you know what.

I mean who couldn't resist his advances,he just knew which buttons to push. Sigh,in a nutshell,he was perfect but he has a single flaw,he doesn't want monogamy.He has 3 bfs and a dozen scandals.

Maybe its just me but I think that in gay relationships,trust and loyalty play a big role no matter if its a LDR or SDR. Just imagine if ur like him, having scandals all over the place while ur Bf sits at home,waiting for u and saving himself for u. Do u think that ur being fair to him?

Sure,I can tahan being his 4th but my jealousy would get control of my head one day and would demand that I'll be the only one for him and vice verse. (S2D2)

3) Uitm Gal

I met this gal in frenster around last year,she is a good girl,wearing tudung and all. She knew that I'm gay cos of my personal info in Frenster but it didn't bother her at all. Sure,there are days when I'm too gay for her but she didn't question of why I became gay etc.To date,she is one of 2 girls who really accepted my gayness.

Anyway,to cut the story short,she told me that she is willing to accept me as a husband despite all of the warnings I gave to her. I was happy but sad at the same time cos I know myself super well and if I accept her invitation,I'll end up destroying her. So I said no and walked away.

My thoughts:

Many would think that I'm being choosy or picky about who to love.Once my fren had lamented that I'm stupid to ignore those who love me and trying to seek the impossible like guy no2.

Its hard to explain the matters of the heart and dick.... Would you pick a normal steak over a Kobe steak? Btw both are on the buffet. I'm sure that u'll pick the Kobe.

As for now,my heart is out of limits.Maybe till I grad or I might extend it. Being in love and being in lust is 2 different things but for the last 2 years,I kept mixing them up,mistaken Love for Lust and Lust for Love.

Lemme relax for a while,Lemme enjoy and smell the roses and Lemme settle my needs before I entertain others.

8 comments:

XY said...

Kinda pity the first guy...
Well shit happens...
Anyway hope you find the one who is right for you...

the viennamese said...

Just becareful while you're having fun fulfilling your needs now. Cuz you know what they say, what goes around comes around... I'm not cursing you, but you may find it a tad difficult when you're finally ready for a relationship.

Just giving you a heads up.

Lucas said...

wats with the dinner guy? he sounds nice... isnt he?

but whatever u do ichi... just follow your heart. it will tell u if its right or wrong.

Armanique said...

well when time comes, u shall decide... i have now and am happy at my decision. im sure u will too :)

Anonymous said...

dun worry, u'll find urs pretty soon

William said...

Wah, UITM girl is looking for kicks ah?

ichimaru akira said...

Xy: thanks

Evann: I know,karma sucks.

Lucas:Yeah,he's nice but I don't want to get involve with anyone rite now. I'm afraid of the unhappy ending.

Arman: thanks bro.

Orange: yeah,but not now.

Will: yeah,ur interested?

Anonymous said...

I want to quote your post in my blog. It can?
And you et an account on Twitter?