Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Don't leave me behind

As I lay down on my bed and let my thoughts wander,I found myself thinking about the 1st quarter of this year,many events had occurred, many people had a really good time but I feel myself stagnating,still not letting go,still no changes that I had brought into myself.

Change is the buzzword for the last 6 months,a president was elected by that single word,the economic world is now being force to change or die,nations are undergoing changes in almost of aspect of their affairs. Each time,I read the papers,the world changes a bit. Locally,we had many changes but why doesn't the change bug bite me yet? Am I immune to change?

Each time,I meet my gang of friends,they have something new to say or someone new that they love. Some of them had even or going to celebrate their 1 year anniversary.Even in the blogosphere,I could see changes in the lives of my fellow bloggers.

I wonder why I'm not going through any Change,even a small one.I'm still the same person as I was 10 years ago. Still unhappy about the same issues,still wanting the same stuff. Maybe I shuld let it be,Change isn't for me....

I'm not saying that I'm being ungrateful but I can't see a new person in the mirror. Friends of yesteryear tell me that I'm still the same guy,still the loner.A fren told me,"Ichi,from what I could see,you have trouble inviting ppl into ur personal life. Even I who had been with u for long time could see that you put barriers on certain aspects of ur life." I said," Is not that I don't let ppl into my personal compartement,its just that I had been hurt too much by too many ppl who I had loved in the past,you could say that its my defense mechanism." That fren walked away and left me with an advise which is " Do you stop breathing if u kena choke once or twice?"

I'm a wimp,I won't jump unless you force me to which makes me a bad lover.I mean why should I jump in the 1st place? Sigh.


10 comments:

.:: Ant ::. said...

The mere self-acknowledgement of your attitude is already the best step to initiate change sld there be a need to. Fret not, you'll do fine, I'm sure. ^_^

+Ant+

Kenji said...

Woah... Thanks for sharing the song... I love the meaning...

But yes, you are who you are! Wheteher you changed or not in the past 10 years, you are still who you should be! True you might not have the same things your other friends have! And you think you yourself are not really moving from spot 1! But aren't we all the worst or harsh judge when it comes to ourselves?

So yes, don't worry and just move ahead in life! You'll never know what will happen in the morrow, ok!? :P

nase said...

wonder whether my forlorn post triggered this but we do look back and ponder on so many things esp our lives and etc, eh. it's good to do such really, just to recollect our thoughts and do some soul searching. best of wishes, my dear. cheers!

Unknown said...

well.. you can get a new hair cut. that wud be a change. *giggles* it's okay, just be patient. you'd rather be with the right person after waiting for some time than to be with the wrong person if you met him tomorrow. trust me, i learned it the hard way.

Armanique said...

u reminded so much of me last time but i guess u ned to pen up abit more. Sometimes u'll get hurt but i guess that's wer u learn and u'll meet friends and someone special along the way :) Hope it works o.0

said...

the 1st move is alwways the most difficult thing to do...jst be brave and try... u might get something thats unexspected but good :)

the viennamese said...

It's only human to resist changes. We're comfortable with who we are and what we have. A change, for the better or for the worse, takes time. It's not an overnight procedure. And think about it, why bother changing if you're already perfect? Maybe you just don't know that you are! So perhaps it's not about making a change to become the perfect person, but discovering the perfections that you already have!

Love yourself for who you truly are. Don't change yourself just so others may love you. You're only cheating yourself if you do. Take care, ichi. :)

H_i said...

its all about time...when it is the perfect timing you will discover that u re already change in every aspect from top to bottom in every detail..
when we re getting older for sure we re changing from one direction to another direction..whether its good or bad its all depend on which direction we choose....
its nt just about look....

ichimaru akira said...

Guys,thanks a lot for ur support.

Its just that sometimes I feel empty,maybe I shuld go out more and get new frens.

Hugs

V said...

it's not the amount of frens u hv dat counts.....but who's the one being there for u all he while!

as u age...u will find that making new frens is not the same as previously; like 10 yrs ago~

the more older u get....the more u make frens on ur working arena than on the social scene!

except for blogging that is ;)