Happy 2011

Yeay,This blog is officially 2 years old de.. Thank you,my readers for supporting me throughout the changes that I had made and I'm reverting to the original format of my blog. Thank you and may this year bring JOY,WISDOM and HEALTH to ur lives. MUACK

Reflections (2010)

4 more days till we say Hi to 2011, a brand new year to look ahead to,full with new hopes,dreams and aspirations.

Christmas was a lively event as my Aunt from Spore came down and spent the weekend showing them around while trying to finish up my lab reports and whatnot, thesis is a still a pending matter, approval for internship application is also in the pending bin.

I found LOVE,lost it,found it again,lost it again and now I'm in LOVE. Each love story that I created has never the same plot nor ending and somehow LOVE have taught me a lesson about who I am,what I seek and what I don't need in life.

Friendship is sumting that is never lacking in my life,Love may come and go but FRIENDSHIP always stays with u. I had a fall out with a good fren and managed to patch things back,now the both of us realized our tolerance levels for each other. I also found a few new frens who I care for and hope that our friendship would continue to grow strong. The act of calling strangers as friends is a big thing for me cos I rarely extend my hand in the name of frenship and once I give u my hand,I would never let go. Even though, I am not always there for u, somehow I believe that my feelings would reach u.

Lastly, I would like to thank,u, MY READERS for giving me support and being kind enuff to read my ramblings of my Ups and Downs,my crazy moments,my sad moments and my happy ones.

Therefore let's greet 2011 with arms wide open and continue to spread Wisdom,Kindness and Love to others.

HAPPY XMAS

I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. - Charles Dickens

Somehow, not only for Christmas,
But all the long year through,
The joy that you give to others,
Is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing,
The poor and lonely and sad,
The more of your heart's possessing,
Returns to you glad. - John Greenleaf Whittier

Happy Xmas to my readers. May this year,u find what u want under the Xmas tree.

Lone ranger

I know I have blogged about this before (click here). Anyway,recent incidents that had happened in the past few weeks prompted a re-visit.

Being an individual who despises herd mentality isn't beneficial during Uni-life,ppl can say things about u and u won't notice it until somone tells u what's happening. Sumtimes even if u meant to say good things somehow ur words will be twisted,dissected and changed by few individuals who don't know u well.

For an instance, "I went to Pavilion with that girl's Bf" will become "I went to a hotel near Pavilion with that girl's Bf to have sex". Surprise? Don't be.. The herd takes account of ur level of relationship with that guy plus ur sexuality. I hate to say this over and over but my SEXUALITY does NOT dictate my PERSONALITY.

Why do I hate being in a herd so much when it does nothing but creates trouble for me. FYI,this is not the 1st time that ppl made me to be mad and depressed. Just face it, I have never like someone for what they are,always for who they are,never inspired to be in the limelight,always wishing to be a nobody.

So what solution do I have to solve this,the easiest of them all is to stop talking and stop them from entering my inner sanctum (yeah,my frenlist have shrunken again).

Sigh, I always thought that this kind of probs will only appear in the GAY World but its really funny that straight ppl and us have so much similarities.

Gay or straight

Before I start rambling, a special round of an applause to our brethren in the States,they finally got the DADT Act repealed as a Xmas present,finally joining the Army is fashionable. Let's work hard and make GAY MARRIAGE a reality.


Went to Damansara Perdana for the monthly dental trip. After getting torture by the dentist,I went to The Curve to get a huge dosage of Chinese Boy Eye-Candies. I finally noticed that The Curve is a popular place for the Gay Community. (Turn left,Macho Mary,turn right, Twinky Tina).

While waiting for the Sifu to come, I saw noticed that some straight guys dress up like gay ppl,low V neck collars,tight t-shirts and I think I saw an outline of a thong on a guy who is snogging his gf. (Bi perhaps).

I think its a trend for straight ppl dressing up/acting gay,perhaps they are desperate for attention. Some of them even use the terms like "nok" and "mak" in their conversations. Erm..perhaps,deep down,there is a little girl screaming to get out.

Maybe one of the Sifus could enlighten us on this subject?

Ps: yeah,I know that I'm so last century on the updates

Decisions

Many frens have said this and I have noticed that when it comes to decide on sumting, I take a long time to ponder. What do u expect from a guy who puts every topping that is available on his Subway Sandwich.

Why do I have to think so much about making a decision especially to Yes or No question. Maybe its due to me being cautious,not wanting the past to repeat itself. I love/want to be someone who could be spontaneous in nature. Some frens do get tired of my boring nature especially those who love to live on the edge. Surprisingly, those decisions that I took time to decide always be the right one to make. Eg: the break-up with Rizal. He is now happy with his Ex. (not me but the one before me)

So now its my time decide on my own happiness,shuld I stay single or settle down with one of the Cancer males?

I decided to enjoy my freedom a little while longer,this is the time for me to pave out my own path. There are things that I want to accomplish before I want to be a darling housewife. I put my trust on my ability to make the right decision,after all although Love may make the world spin, u can't buy food with it.

Sori Cupid,ur timing sucks.

Ps: Each decision/action I take is carefully thought of,some of it may hurt me,some may hurt the ppl that I care but in the end,it is the right thing to do.

Misinterpretation

Don't u just hate it when ppl missed interpret ur words, sumtimes u want to say good stuff,don't want to hurt their feelings directly or indirectly but somehow the words that the other person hears brings negative thoughts/meanings to them directly or indirectly. Then they start to sulk/avoid u.Then u start to wonder why they do that and when u realized that it was because of the words u said had hurt them and finally u felt double dosage of the pain due to u hurt their feelings indirectly and their silence treatment afterwards.

For example,the above happened in my Hemato class.Below is the scenario:

Girl A: Ms,we want to combine the one hour class with the 2 hour class,can anot?
Ms: Who disagrees with the idea?
Me: I. I have class after this ( a white lie)

After Class

Fren: where are u going?
Me: home

Girl A overheard the conversation.

Girl A: say got class?
Me: erm,sori but I really cannot tahan 3 hrs of Hemato. I guess I'm not smart like u guys.

Girl A walks away and joins her frens and talk with them in Tamil loudly. (Big mistake,I was a Sporean therefore I understand Mandarin and Tamil). The conclusion of their discussion was that I'm a selfish prick.

Today at lab

Me: Hi,can u pass me the plasticine.Tq
Girl A: donno where the plasticine is

In reality,the plasticine was near her and she used it right before me.

Me: (shakes head and took the plasticine)

Yeah,I know,its hard to comprehend that this happens at an Uni. :(

Serenity prayer

This is sumting that HELPS to deal with ppl that are mentally challenged.

Serenity Prayer

God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the

Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

Short version of it

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Even shorter version of it

JUST SHUT UP AND DIE FROM CHOKING ON UR WORDS
U PIECE OF SHIT

Suicide = Stupidity

I guess that most of u would noticed that a famous (?) facebooker committed suicide due his fallout with his gf.Yeah,I'm talking about Alviss . I really don't know much about him (lengcais don't befren with normal people).

Anyway,as some of u know Suicide and me don't mixed well due to some past event in my life. For those who are new to my blog, there was someone in my circle of frens kill himself over someting that actually can be solved if he shared with others or others could try to be more sympathetic with him. Yeah,I still blame myself for not being there for him.

Every prob has a solution,no matter how big nor small it is. But seriously, attempting suicide should never be one of the solutions for the prob. I'm not saying that Suicide is a cowardly act,it does take a small amount of courage to walk over the ledge or to drink that bottle of poison. But if u have the courage and determination to take ur life,WHY don't u focus on improving ur life.

Don't EVER think that when u die,no one will be affected by it. Everyone would in some way be affected by ur death,ur frens,ur lovers and ur parents would blame themselves for not being there for u.If u kill urself over a lover,do u really think that the lover would be HAPPY? He/She would be scarred for life.

Think about it before u pull the trigger,is it worth the trouble?

For those who need a shoulder or an ear,pls call the BEFRIENDERS at 03-79568144 or 03-79568145

The butterfly is here again

Taking a risk can be fruitful and sumtimes the results can be satisfying. It seems that I have been meeting a lot of Cancer guys lately;Mr C,Mr T,Mr S,Mr Q.

All of them are really wonderful ppl. We sorta clicked during the 1st meet except for Mr Q,he is a boring fellow,keeps talking about politics every now and then. Anyway,I think I have found the perfect zodiac for me;he must be born under the Sign of the Crab. (talking cock here)

Out of the 3 guys that I enjoyed their company,only 2 are definitely keepers. One younger than me and the other is older,erm in fact he's is 10 yrs my senior.

I'm still deciding about where to go from here,both needs me to sacrifice sumting but isn't Love all about sacrificing sumting.

Ps: if the persons that I mentioned read this, don't worry much. Age,shape and size are not the important variables in my equation.

Never a fan of Society

Fren: Ichi,Can U follow the rules?
I : Got rules meh?
(blur face)

Many ppl that I know have always commented that I never do things following the proper SOP,that I cut corners or sumtimes invent a new way to do things. Seriously,I'm happy to do things my way and as long as they are completed and both parties are happy with the work,I lagi contented.

So if ur gonna ask me whether I'm going to obey the rules that Society has laid down. My answer is NO. The rules that are created by Society are dumb. For an instance, when a gay guy befrens a straight guy,Society would say that the gay guy is trying to seduce the straight guy or even worse the straight guy is labeled as a closeted gay guy. Another example,when a gay guy befrens a girl who has a bf,the Society deems that the gay guy only wants to break the couple apart in order to get the bf. See how,dumb Society is.The Society hates abnormalities; being gay is an abnormality,so is being rich,being poor and so forth.In simpler words, what The Society hates or can't comprehend,the Society rejects.

I have stopped thinking about what Society wants a long time ago. In my opinion,the Society would never be satisfied with whatever we do.So why bother to think about them when ur making decisions for ur own sake. Do u really think that Society will come and help when u fall? Even when ur on top,Society will try to topple u down.

Therefore in conclusion, Fuck Society and take control of ur life and if u fall, get up,wipe ur tears and blood and continue riding the roller coaster.

SHUT UP

Before I ranting,I have to say that I love to whine and bitch about things but I have never made bitching my full time occupation. Sori but I do have to let out some steam.

SHUT UP
Everything u wanna complain
This and that
I really don't understand why u complain
especially about the state of things
Raining complain, Hot sun complain

If u don't like
change
Go and stay in the Sahara,there is limited rain there
x suke
Go and stay in Washington,over there it rains almost everyday

U stress,U complain
Then u make everyone stress
cos of u

Ur a good person so be a good person
No one owes u anything and so do u

Like I said x suke,change
complaining all the time
won't make the prob go away

LASTADVICESHUTUP

Vindicated

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated

[Chorus]
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that

[Chorus]

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]

[Chorus]

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...

An everlasting dream?

A few nights ago,I had dinner with C who is a straight guy. He asked me a golden question which was, "why gay relationships don't last long?"

Before I start to answer his question here,I would like to clarify that there are Gays who have relationships that last 10+ yrs and some ppl that I know are breaking this record.

My answer to the question:

Guys are horny (Fine,I'm a horny bastard) in nature. Be it a straight/gay guy, we are all attracted to beautiful things and we're often than not are easily aroused by cuties,therefore we are not very faithful in nature. We may sumtimes slip and cheat our partners. For gays,cheating/breaking up is even easier due to the fact that we are not bond to anything except for our own promises to each other.

Some couples may have a clause in their relationship to safeguard their promises. For an instance, they can fuck others outside of their homes or sumting in that nature. Although,it is a good idea but sometimes, the partner always "eats" outside,never inside the home and making the significant other sexually frustrated.

Some may consider Open Relationships but to me,this is stupid,unfair and dangerous as we never know what we may pick up in bars and etc.

So think about it? Can we,homos really achieve a happy ending?

Updates

A few ppl have been complaining that I have not been updating my blog as regularly as before. It seems that there are longer breaks in between posts if compared to 2009. Its not that I don't want to update my blog but there are more things to do in 2010 than in 2009.


Anyways,a bit of an update on my personal life.

Update no 1: Shop closed

Remember the burger stall that I set up with my cousins. Well,we decided to stop doing it due to various reasons like work and etc. So I have to say goodbye to that money generator.No more Alexis,No more fancy dinners for me at least till next year.
(keeping mum on that project for now)

Update no 2: New frens

Hahhaha.. Contrary to what u guys see,I'm not that sociable,even in Uni, I have very few frens. (that's why most of Uni related drama doesn't include me) But thanks to blogspot and facebook,I have made a bunch of frens this yr. Hope to continue to be frens with them

Update no 3: FYP

Yeay,I'm proud to say that I have started my data analysis but the progress is slow due to the hassle of SPSS. I think doing manually is faster. Better to a tortoise than a hare,u'll have a clearer understanding of what ur doing.

Seeing the Light

Have u been approached by an ex-gay before in the chat rooms or social sites before? They often proclaimed that they have seen the err of their ways and have returned to the path of God. Their approach is often subtle almost like those in the MLM business. "Join us for brunch or tea", they would say.Then in the middle of having Earl Grey, they would proclaimed that they have the will to say NO to a tight hole nor a 10 inch dick and YES to tits and pussies.

Some gays would follow the steps of these so-called Ex-gays believing that God did not abandon them to the fiery pit of Hells and that gays still have a chance/opportunity to reform,to be the REAL person that they are,that they have the power to reject the temptations of the DEVIL,to be the person that their families and THE SOCIETY wants.

How good is this program actually? A few would be converted into 100% heteros,some would get married and be contented with a dick every now and then and the lucky ones,the ones who receive Enlightenment would stay HOMO and realized that God & Devil, Angels & Demons, Heaven & Hell exist inside them.

Always remember that u are u who are and no one can deny u being u.

Last 72 hrs

Omg,I'm an internet addict.

Anyway, I went out for a roadtrip with cousin for the last 72 hrs. Just me and him and the highway. We agreed to switch off our Hps,his BB, laptops and etc. In short,we cut ourselves away from the world. (parents agreed but asked us to update our location every 12 hours).

Starting Point: Shah Alam
Pit stop: Ampang

17/11
1st stop: Ipoh
2nd stop: Besut
3rd stop: Cherating (Slept there)

18/11
4th stop: Kuantan
5th stop: Kuala Lumpur

It was kinda fun cos I have not done any road trips with this cousin before. Surprisingly,he was a nice person to talk to since we only talked about games when we met up on previous occasions.

Both were suffering from post-break up syndrome. I had to be careful to use girl terms to describe my ex( She,her,tits,pussy and etc) which was kinda frustrating since I'm not a good liar.

In the end,we both gained a lot of exp and saw the world in a new light and agreed that Laptops are the most loyal of companions; they carry out ur every command and give a straight answer to every query.

OLD I'M NOT

Its official that I'm out of the gay scene,both here and in Spore. Its has been a long since I entered the chatrooms nor the clubs. I had deleted my frienster, myspace, trevvy, G4m (Planet Romeo) a long time ago. Btw,Facebook is for frens and acquaintances,not for sex. Nah,I'm not selling myself here either, I'm not that desperate yet.

Seriously,I am feeling kinda old for these things but the prob is the only way to find guys is to be in the scene. These days,most of my outings are with bloggers or frens (straight ones). I'm starting to enjoy the drama-less world of Gay,more time for me to read my books and less time listening to petty squabbles about who stole whose treat.

Surprise at this statement, ur not alone in this. Fuck, why am I having this thoughts,I'm not 30 yrs old yet,I'm just 23 yrs old. (Well,some parts are even younger than that)

Why so fast ?

This conversation took placed in FB.

Fren: Hey,I heard that u alredi started doing ur data collection for ur FYP. why so fast wanna do?

I: huh? fast meh? scared later no time lah

Fren: What u mean u got no time? Ur doing a survey je kan.

I: Excuse me.. although I'm doing a survey, I need 400 respondents from 4 Unis. U think I so free to 4 Unis during class time meh?

Fren: 400 ? for what,just do 100 lah.. its just a FYP.. its not like its going to be publish or what..

I: U know what,I have better things to do than talking to u..BYE

Seriously, for me if u want to do sumting,go all out. Why settle for the minimum requirement. No wonder lah u need help to survive later on.

The things that I do for my gfs

Women are less afraid of gays than hetero males due to the fact that gays don't have any feelings for women. We simply do not get aroused while watching Pamela Anderson flaunting her XXL boobs. Therefore women will let their guard down and show /tell /ask us many things that heteros would be dying to see.

Case 1

My gf's bf asked her out suddenly when we were having dinner at her place one nite. She drags me into her room and starts to peel her clothes off her body while asking me what she shuld wear. She changed into a few sets of clothes until the both of us were happy with the selection. Throughout the process,the bf was out in the living room.

Case 2

One of my gfs asked me to stalk her bf who was suspected to have another girl. I spent 2 weeks collecting evidence that support her claim and she paid my petrol. Just imagine, following the bf who seems to not have a home to go to all over Subang and Shah Alam,it was damm tiring.

Case 3

2 of my gfs asked me the art of sexs. Seriously,I was thinking why me,my sex life is damm boring. After all the tutorial, their bfs broke up with them and told them that they were excellent at giving BJs. I know the world isn't fair :)

For the heteros who are reading this,always remember that if guys want a great time,do it with a gay dude and if gals want a great time,do it with a lesbian.

Case 4

My gfs and I spent a whole nite talking about the L theory. According to this theory,tall guys have short dicks while short guys have long dicks. Guess what, this theory is only applicable for 4 out 10 guys. So go figure.

Ps: Btw my gfs are my fag hags
Pps: those guys in Case 4 are based on our cumulative sex exp.

Mayday: Stubborn

Suppose that this world and I are different, then that makes us different
To me, holding fast means once unyielding, ever more unyielding
If I were to compromise my principles or lie to myself
Others might forgive me, but Id never forgive myself

The most perfect wish has got to be the craziest
I am my own god at the place where I live

I have my last bit of stubbornness grasped tightly in my two hands, absolutely not letting go
The next stop may be paradise, granted that disappointments cant destroy hope
My proud stubbornness and I sing loudly into the wind
This time, Im crazy for my own sake, just this time me and my stubbornness

People who love me neednt be nervous, my obstinacy is good and honest
The dirtier my hands become, the clearer I can see
You dont mind my past mistakes because you can see my wings
And you remind me that only after being burned in the fire can a phoenix be reborn

Traveling against the wind is the best way to take flight
Countless people throwing obstacles my way cant scare me, I only fear my own surrender
I have my last bit of stubbornness grasped tightly in my two hands, absolutely not letting go
The next stop may be paradise, granted that disappointments cant destroy hope
My proud stubbornness and I sing loudly into the wind
This time, Im crazy for my own sake, just this time me and my stubbornness

I have my last bit of stubbornness grasped tightly in my two hands, absolutely not letting go
The next stop may be paradise, granted that disappointments cant destroy hope
My proud stubbornness and I sing loudly into the wind
This time, Im crazy for my own sake, just this time me and my stubbornness
Just this time let me sing it loudly

La la la... granted that disappointments cant destroy hope
La la la... just this time, me and my stubbornness

The end of holidays

In 15 days, my new and last sem is gonna start. There are many things that I have not completed yet like reading one piece ( am at chapter 9), watching anime (black cat is still pending) and of cos,my data collection for my thesis ( still haven't settle UM,UKM and UPM).

The prob with UM,UKM and UPM is bad timing,I thought that their finals is next month so I delayed the data collection and was thinking that whatever happens,I still have a lot of time. The fact that most of my frens are in IPTS also contributed to the decision making.

Things that I have accomplished:

1) settled my intro,lit review and methodology for my thesis
2) finished reading XXXholic
3) finished watching soul eater,katekyo hitman reborn and kekkaishi
4) cleared up my bookshelf, got 2 empty shelves de
5) read up on biostats
6) learnt how to change car tires
7) settled all pending projects
8) finished playing C&C 3

I'm proud to say that time spent on this sem break is well spent.

An old memory

I met with my Sec School Counselor (SSc) 2day,the meeting wasn't planned or anyting,I was walking around PKNS when I saw her. She didn't change much,still the same caring person. While we were chatting,a topic came out,it was about whose ur Idol.

Flashback

SSC: Siapa Idola awak?

Ichi: Alfred Noble

SSC: Kenapa beliau?

Ichi: krn beliau percaya kepada kebaikan yg tersembunyi dlm sifat Manusia.

SSC: kenapa x kata yg Ayah awak idola awak seperti kawan2 yg lain?

Ichi: ermx5..

SSC: xper,awak boleh duduk

Present

SSC: Siapa idol awaak skang?

Ichi: Ramai,Ms. Tp skang,ramai idola saya yg boleh saya jumpa dgn senang,x payah rujuk
biografi diorg.. masing2 tgh cuba menulis kisah masing2.

SSC: Termasuk Ayah awak?

Ichi: Ermx5

SSC: oklah, saya dah lewat nie. nie nombor saya,bile senang call/msg

A - Z

Saw this form at Jason's blog and completed it for fun.

INSTRUCTIONS: Fill out these questions and make a new note called "ABC About You." Then tag 25 people. If you got tagged by me, you have to take this survey and re-post it! Don’t forget to tag me because I want to know more about you!

A - AVAILABLE: Yes

B - BIRTHDAY: 1st May

C- CRUSHING ON: -

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Apple juice

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: a logical person

F - FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: Listen Beyonce

H - HOMETOWN: JB

I - IN LOVE WITH: Lappie,Anime & Genetics

J - JUGGLE: Family Issues, Studies Issues,Financial Issues

K - KILLED SOMEONE: LOL..maybe

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: From Kl 2 JB non-stop

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Chocolate

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3

O - ONE WISH: To have 3 more

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Al

R- REASON TO SMILE: when I'm with frens or got an inspiration

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: papa roach

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 7.00 am

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: Multi

V - VEGETABLE: Okra

W - WORST HABIT: Waiting

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD MOST RECENTLY: 2 yrs ago for bronchitis

Y - YOYOS ARE: A toy

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus

RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

Your favorite number/s: Hate Numbers

What color do you wear most: Blue,Red,Black

Least favorite color: Pink

What are you listening to: Burn By Papa Roach

Are you happy with your life right now: No

What is your favorite class in school: History

Who is/are your best friend/s: U know who u are

Are you outgoing: Sometimes

Favorite pair of shoes: Hush puppies

Can you dance?: No

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth: No

Can you whistle: No

Cross your eyes: Nope

Walk with your toes curled: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

Do you believe in life in other planets: Nope

Do you believe in miracles: No

Do you believe in magic: No

Love at first sight:No

Do you believe in Santa: No

Do you know how to swim: Yes

Do you like roller coasters: No

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows: Depends

Have you ever been on a plane: Not yet..Soon

Have you ever asked someone out: Yes

Have you ever been to the ocean: Yes

Have you ever painted your nails?: No

THE WHAT'S

What is the temperature outside?: 28 degree Celsius

What radio station do you listen to: Hitz.fm

What was the last restaurant you ate at: Secret recipe @ sec 9

What was the last thing you bought: Apple

What was the last thing on TV you watched: Amazing Race Asia 4

THE WHO'S

Who was the last person you IM'd: no one

Who was the last person you took a picture of: Not a cam whore

Who was the last person you said I love you to: U know who

CRYING SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out: Yes

Ever cried yourself to sleep: No

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder: Crying is a private session for me

Ever cried over the opposite sex: My sis

Do you cry when you get an injury: Yeah,before puberty

Do certain songs make you cry: Certain songs

HAPPY SECTION

Are you a happy person?: yeah,when I'm out of the house

LOOK AT ME

What is your current hair color: Black

CURRENTLY WEARING

What shirt are you wearing: some T-shirt

Pants: long pants

Shoes: None

Necklaces: None

IN A GUY/GIRL

Favorite eye color: Black

Short or long hair: Short hair

Height: not too tall nor short

HAVE YOU EVER

Been to jail: No

Mooned someone: No

Thought about suicide: maybe

Laughed so hard you cried: yes

Cried in school: when I got my PSLE results,SPM results

Thrown up in a store: No

Wanted to be a model: No

Seen a dead body:Yes

Been on drugs: Longx4 time ago

Gone skinny dipping: HAhaha...maybe

THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi

McDonald's or Burger King: MC D

Single or Group Dates: Single

Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate

Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries

Meat or Veggies: Meat

TV or Movie: Tv

Guitar or Drums: -

Adidas or Nike: -

Chinese or Mexican: Chinese of cos

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Who did u tag: all of my readers XD

Many questions, so few answers

Many are asking why I left Rizal since we're so good together.

Frankly, this was a decision that both of us decided together. Maybe due to some differences in personalities. As we said in some posts,we aren't the ideal bfs for each other. His taste and mine don't actually matched, we tried our best to fulfill each other's needs and wants but somehow we both don't feel that a its a right thing to prolong something that unrealistic.

Yes,I was the person who asked for the break up which is selfish of me but again, I can't feel nor deliver the same feeling that I saw in the Honey Club. Maybe its becos my belief that every thing I touch will break after some time so its better to break it myself before others break it for me.

I know that my reasoning is kinda twisted but pls do try to understand or tolerate this decision of mine.

Maybe one day, I find someone that could truly mend my broken self.

Final chapter

How I wish that this is not the end. The final meet was a sad thing for me,settling all the bills and what nots,returning all the gifts. All I can hope is God has a better person who is waiting for u.

I'm sorry for what I had asked for,I know that the request was the hardest for u comply but somehow I think its the best for the both us.

In friendship,we say good bye.

A visit to Pure Blood town

On Tuesday,I went to an Ivory Tower which is fully manned by the Purebloods. I was intimidated by the sheer size of the pure blood population. I felt really like an outsider. Just imagine,a Mudblood who dared to enter a town full of Purebloods. Scary.

Of cos,u can find a few Death Eaters in that town. So what I'm mudblood,most Purebloods are either mixed with Muggle parentage or have a bit of Halfblood in their veins.

There I was,at the gates of the Ivory Tower, getting instructions from the Gatekeeper who is a Death Eater who thinks that I'm an expert on finding my way around that town. His instructions for reaching the castle were "take 3,take 3,take 9,u will see a great round building,report to the HEPA." The translation of his instructions were: at the 1st roundabout,at the 2nd roundabout take the 2nd exit,then take the 2nd exit,then on the 3rd roundabout, take the 3rd exit. The administrator's office is located at the Flower Block.

Seriously, I thought with the death of Lord Voldy,these Death Eaters would see the err of their ways but it seems very unlikely to happen. I do hope that the present Minister could change their perceptions on creed.

Personally, I wouldn't bet on it.

7th month: Trials and Temptations

Most of my posts about the monthly anniversaries have been sweet and nice unlike this one which is a bit sour.

During the week leading up to Jino's bday celebration, I been cajoling the bf to join us for the celebration but he declined it until at a point that he said that the point of having a bf is not to tayang kat org which I strongly disagreed cos I wanted to show him the people that I hang out with. For record,he also refuses to meet up with my gfs and besties.

On the eve of the meet up,I being adamant,kept asking him to follow me until he said sumting that make me really upset and angry enuff to leave his tokens of love; ring and keychain at his place. I really wanted to break off with him at that point.

After the meet up, I realized that I was being dumb and wanted him so badly (yeah,I'm easily dipujuk type). When I was getting ready to shower, I saw this comment on FB from a lecturer of mine, he sorta asked me to remember why I fell in love with Rizal in the 1st place,was it due to his promise to socialize with my frens or what.

So I went to his place with his favorite ice cream in tow and we had a long discussion.

Somehow,this matter made me realized one thing,sumtimes being deeply in love isn't enuff, u need to learn to tolerate each other at times.


Ps:Somehow, I suspect that his meeting with the yamcha gang had traumatized him....

Baka Boyfren

Hi,its Rizal again...

I think u all know that my bf is so dumb at times,worrying about things that he should not be worrying...



To Baka Bf,just be urself,k.

Image = Object ?

Someone's shout out in FB keeps lingering in my mind,somehow his words made an impression on me. He reminded me of an objective that I had forgotten a long time ago,sumting that I realized that I won't be able to be rite now. To the lovers out there,how do u perceive urself? As a Boyfriend material or a Husband material?

What's the difference? Why do I fret so much about those 2 words when I'm not going to get married? Does the status of being a husband or a boyfriend makes any difference?

According to Merriam-Webster:

1) Husband: a male partner in a marriage/union

2) Boyfriend: a frequent or regular male companion in a romantic or sexual relationship

Have u spotted the difference?

So the question is how many are u are the 1st category?

Ur never alone

In the light of the recent gay suicides in USA,I wonder how many of these cases are in Msia. I guess,we'll never know what is the exact number of cases or whether there are any in Msia due to the fact that our society never made room for LGBT. Although LGBT exists in Msia,we are often shunned to a corner,Society know us as the people who are flamboyant,who are sissies or those who are morally corrupted and deserves go to HELL.

Unfortunately,its sad to say that there are gay suicide cases in this region which is covered up by families who want to save face.I,personally had encountered came across one case but I failed to help him and in the end,he found salvation in a bottle of pills.

Readers, I know some of you,at certain point of time,had thought of giving up on LIFE, felt that ur worthless and undesired by Loved ones. I know how it feels to be different at so many levels if compared to the rest,the feeling of being alone is unbearable.

My dearest readers, I want u to know that HOPE is always with u,u can always find HELP in various places. Find a fren/an outlet that u can trust and let it all out. Always remember that u are as worthy to walk this Earth and leave ur print on it as the guy beside u, Never let anyone take ur pride and dignity away.

No matter how dark today is,the light will always shine thru

Stand by me

Things that truly matter

Someone once state that Fame,Money & Popularity are essential stuff that everyone needs. Yeah,they are important.Duh,that's the reason why we are bloggers,rite? We want to be in the spotlight. But seriously, would Fame,Money & Popularity would be enuff?


At a certain point of my life,I realized that I'm the happiest when:

1) I'm having a cup of coffee with a fren while lazing at the coffee shop
2) I return home to find a warm dinner waiting for me
3) a fren/lover is happy
4) I'm supporting a fren when they are in need
5) A fren/lover listens to my whines and supports me thru my time of need
6) I have a good book and a hot cuppa of Milo nearby

Money,Fame & Popularity are what everyone wants but if they make ur life empty or when they make u lose ur own identity and become a clon,will u be happy and satisfied?

50:30:20

50:30:20 is the magic equation for financial stability. Let me elaborate,k.

50% of ur pay shuld go to the NEEDS category; bills, car loans, house loans,parents allowance and study loans should be under this heading. I know most are either think of/getting a new house but make sure that ur house loan is a third of ur pay and u shuld have saved up 10% of the value of the house that u want to buy. Example if ur aiming for the rm 200k - 250 K price range,u shuld have at least have rm 20 -25 K in ur bank acc. Although,in Budget 2011,we don't need to fork out the 10% for the loan but we need to have money for renovating the house.

30% of ur pay shuld go to the WANTS category. This category is for items like movies,eating out,luxury items and etc. If ur thinking of buying a Monet,use the money from this portion.

Lastly, the 20% is for SAVINGS. This is super important cos this portion will help u to overcome the uncertainties of life such as medical fees, unemployment and etc. U also could use this portion for investment. For beginners, I would advise to invest in Govt. Bonds or ASN or BSN. This type of investment have the lowest risks and ergo the lowest profit. For ppl who have solid background in investing,its better to put your money into them but pls don't put all in one basket. The key is to diversify ur investment.


Citation: Reader Digest Oct 2010

All the small things do really matter

Some of the bloggers in my blog roll (me included) have posted about their dream guy or potential bf's criteria but none paid any attention to the small things like:

1) distance
2) availability
3) hobbies
4) education background
5) maturity

Personally, after getting someone with the right body,personality and face, I do try to check my "All the small things list".

1) Maturity

Is he smart enuff to detect when I am unhappy or stressed out? Does he know how to cheer me up? Can he keep up with my thoughts?

2) Education level

A person's education often reflects his level of maturity therefore I prefer those with a degree.Its a bonus if he is in the same field as me or some other fields that means sumting.Having a degree in Roman Studies does not qualify.

3) Distance

How far is his place? Do I need to drive for 2 hours before I reach his place? Is his place convenient to go to or its at dunno which unknown corner of the country? I prefer to date ppl who are in the Klang Valley cos I'm in the Klang Valley. (no need a Phd to figure that out kan?)

4) Availability

How often can I meet him? Is he often busy? Does he goes abroad a lot? This factor links to distance. And of cos, how often can Lil Ichi gets his workout and does he need to go to a hotel for it? (I'm a poor man so don't expect me to fork rm 50 every time to get laid) Hint: having a house/room is definitely a bonus

5) Hobbies

As much as Lil Ichi loves to get a good workout, it will be nice if we have other things to do other than humping. Hobbies do reflect a person's maturity.

Conclusion, Rizal have high scores in the list therefore I'm his bf.

Ps: I have moved on,u shuld 2.

What's love?

I was browsing thru the internet when I found this quote and somehow its words are what LOVE is to me.

True love is the only just and holy war. 2 frens pledge loyal opposition to one another. I vow that I will defend the integrity of my separate being and respect the integrity of your being, We will meet only as equals; I will present myself to you in the fullness of my being and will expect the same of you.I will not cower,apologize or condescend.Our covenant will be only to love one another justly and powerfully; to establish and cherish inviolable boundaries; to respect our separate sanctuaries. We will remain joined in the sweet agony of dialogue, the contest of conversation,the dialectic of love until we arrive at a synthesis.

Sam Keen,Fire in the Belly

Angels or Demons

Sori,I wanted to blog about this last nite after watching Numbers season (don't know which),it was an episode where they were investigating an Islamic group which was suspected of supporting terrorist in Pakistan. One of the investigating officer was truly islamophobic,he was convinced that every muslim is evil until they found out that the Islamic group was infiltrated by an IRA agent.

One of the concepts that were shown in the episode was Escher's Angel and Demons (see above). This concept is based on human perception; hear too much negative points about a person,u'll hate him even though u never see him before or hear too much positive points about a person,u'll adore him even though u have no proof of him doing good. Ergo,when a person sees the diagram for the 1st time,he will either see demons or angels in the motif. Oh yeah btw,its a kind of anagram.

STRESSED

I watch how the moon sits in the sky in the dark night
Shining with the light from the sun
The sun doesn't give light to the moon assuming
The moon’s going to owe it one
It makes me think of how you act to me
You do favors and then rapidly
You just turn around and start asking me
about things that you want back from me

I am having finals rite now,am so stressed,not with the paper nor with lover nor with the uni mates but with my dad. Yeah,its the same drama again and again, son wants to be good so he follows what the Dad says,peace reigns until the Son disobeys the Dad commands due to his own needs,the Dad gets mad.......

I want to be in another place
I hate when you say you don’t understand
I want to be in the energy, not with the enemy
A place for my head
Maybe someday I’ll be just like you
and step on people like you do and
Run away the people I thought I knew
I remember back then who you were
You used to be calm, used to be strong
Used to be generous but you should’ve known
That you’d wear out your welcome
now you see how quiet it is, all alone

The funny thing is the Dad wants the Son to be a RESPONSIBLE MAN blahx4 but when the Son takes control of his own life,the Dad isn't happy with it. So tell me,Dad,what do u really want from me? I have given u almost everything by putting ur needs 1st before mine. I don't to do what most ppl would do in situation; get job,get house,stay away from family. Why are u pushing me to do it?

I’m sick of the tension, sick of the hunger
Sick of you acting like I owe you this
Find another place, to feed your greed -
While I find a place to rest

Gay's views on love relationships

I was chatting with a gay fren in the States earlier when he said that the failure of trying to change the law regarding gay marriage is due to the lack of unity among gays. Surprised rite?

It seems that there are 3 views regarding gays and relationship which I will explain below.

1) The majority

Gay meets Gay. They embark on a relationship 2gether. A few years later,get a house,try to get married or join hands in civil marriage,have a child or 2,get a dog and retire.

This flow of events are often what majority of gays want in life besides getting the Cs.They just want to settle down and raise a family or at the very least have a shot of normalcy.

2) The minority

Gay meets Gay,Gay fuck Gay,Gay left Gay. Repeat

This flow of events are what Gays who says that since guys have a tendency to cheat therefore gays cannot maintain a long term relationship. This group of Gays shuns the idea of getting married and blahx3. They labeled those who want otherwise are copying the ways of the Heteros. I mean why must Gays have the same lifestyle as Heteros after all we are different,we fly solo.

3) The in-betweens

They have partners but they do sleep around others at the same time. They take the benefits of being loyal to one and being free willed. Often than not,they will have certain agreements like,no guys are to be brought home or no guys are allowed to be the fuckee and etc.

In conclusion,I agreed that we're a diverse group from ranging from twink-lovers to slaves but in some issues,we have to unite and put our differences aside after all,we are the minority.

3 in 1

Sori,I have no idea for the title of this post so its going to be a combi of things.

1) Mr Sun is temporarily back

Yeah,I hate rain. Rain makes me depressed. Rain spoils my mood. I love Sun. Sun makes me happy. Sun is good. FYI,I'm not crazy but this true. When it rains,we can't go out,when we can't go out,we're stuck at home and when we're stuck at home,boredom sets in.

One of the reasons why I'm glad that Mr Sun is back cos I love to study at the lakes in Shah Alam especially during exam period. Rain only promotes sleep in me.

2) Starting a new project soon

The burger business is going to end at the end of the year. So I need to find ways to get money so that I can buy more I NEED HOUSE products later on besides the translation projects are draining my energy and I get no offers for the data entry job.

The actual reason of trying to earn more money is to able to do sumting for my loved ones, I want to be able to support them in their time of need. I want to be able to stop whatever I'm doing and focus on the person 24/7.

SO BE KIND TO ME AND PASS ME MORE PROJECTS.

More details of this new project will be reveal later on.

3) Married men more desirable?

Erm...Erm... erm. Can't say much about this cos I'm afraid that someone might use a scalpel to remove my treasures.This statement is based on perspectives. Some do spend more time looking at mirror when they are in a relationship and sumtimes they do things that make us say," I wish this fellow is my bf,he treats his lover well." But again some ppl aren't bother to impress their lovers much and do act like they are still single.

I wouldn't say much on this topic cos I see the scalpel in HIS hands de. Anyway,have a good weekend ahead.

BFs ain't toys

A few years back, a fren who was in the courting phrase told me that if he ever get into a relationship with the current guy,he will break it off after he graduated. I was speechless when he said it,after all, a heart is not sumting that u can give away so easily and get it back when u want it.

Fast forward 3 yrs later, his bf came and told us that the fren wants to break it off. I registered no shock to the exclamation but I was kinda sad,I mean after everything that they had been thru,the fren wanted to break up,it seems that the 3 yrs that they had been 2gether was worthless. If ur wondering whether there were disputes between them that force the hand of the fren,well,no,they are a lovely dovey couple.

Now,both of them are living separate lives and the fren is finding a new one.

I wonder whether the term "forever in love" is just an imaginary term coined by those hopeless romantics.

I know that I'm a nobody to judge him but don't u think that all the heartaches,happy moments and memories are a waste. Again I wonder whether his decisions is based on his looks,who knows maybe,he thinks that he is handsome,sure got demand one but again LOOKS are temporary. Wonder what he'll do when the wrinkles becomes more prominent.

5 important toys

Sometimes we need to add spice into our life, doing the same old routine makes us bored so Ichi is going to share with my readers the 5 important sex toys that all gays shuld have.

1) Fleshlight

The Fleshlight (also marketed as the Fleshjack) is a brand of male sex toys. The Fleshlight is designed and marketed by Interactive Life Forms (ILF). The Fleshlight is named for the flesh-like material used in its inner sleeve, as well as the plastic case that houses the sleeve, which is fashioned to look like an oversized flashlight. The inner sleeve is available with vulva, anus, mouth and a more discreet slot-shaped orifice (stealth). The inner sleeves come in a choice of two colors (flesh and ice), and several internal textures. So basically,it’s a fake butthole where u fuck it with.

2) Dildo

Dildo-shaped—Approximately penis-shaped, can be made of plastic, silicone, rubber, vinyl, or latex. Dildo is the common name used to define a phallus-like sex toy which does not however provide any type of vibrations. But as vibrators have commonly the shape of a penis, there are many models and designs of vibrating dildos available. Vibrating dildos are designed for both individual usage and with a partner. They may be used for vaginal and anal penetration as well as for oral penetration. They come in different sizes, colors and textures and they may be double-ended so both anal and vaginal stimulation is achieved at the same time.

For those who love water sports:

Although marketed as waterproof, most should not be submerged. The ones designed for underwater usage may be used in the swimming pool, bath or shower or any other wet place. The waterproof vibrators are recommended to be used with a water compatible lubricant, such as silicone-based lubricant. One is advised to check the battery pack to make sure it is not defective before using the vibrator underwater.[6] These vibrators last longer if they are dried after every use and the batteries are kept outside the vibrator when it is not used

3) G-spot stimulator

Similar to the traditional vibrator but with a curve and often a soft jelly-like coating. The curve makes it easier to use to stimulate the g-spot or prostate. The G-spot vibrators are specially designed to stimulate the G-spot in women, and the prostate in men. This type of vibrators is more curved towards the tip and it is made of materials such as silicone or acrylic. It also comes in different colors, shapes and sizes and it can be used with or without the vibrations. Many users though state that vibrations enhance the sensations during G-spot or prostate stimulation. They are recommended to be used with a significant amount of lubricant, especially when used to provoke sexual pleasure in men.

4) Egg Vibrators

Egg-shaped vibrator which can be used for stimulation of the clitoris or insertion into the vagina. The egg, also known as love egg, is a type of vibrator that may also have the shape of bullet which comes in very small sizes. Based on their specific shape, they are called either egg vibrators or bullet vibrators. They are considered discrete sex toys as they do not measure more than 3 inches in length and ¾ inches in width.

5) Blindfold

A must have for those who are into kinky stuff. It is said that the lack of one sense enhances the other 4 senses so blindfold ur partners and see how they react to ur every touch.

For more info,pls click here